


Draw Me Like One of Your Asgardian Girls

by Roving_Matilda



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: At Least That's What I'm Planning, Avengers AU: Tattoo Shop, F/M, M/M, Slow Build, We'll See If They Agree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:10:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roving_Matilda/pseuds/Roving_Matilda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark = tattoo artist and owner of Iron Ink<br/>Steve Rogers = blank canvas and Tony's wet dreams in one fine package</p><p>Plus Clint and Darcy do the flirting tango (while Tony prays they'll start doing the horizontal tango cause the UST is getting to him - it leaves residue around the shop).  Natasha and Bucky are there too, getting tattoos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Leaning against the counter of Iron Ink, Tony can't stop the laugh that comes bubbling up when he hears Darcy let out an angry shriek from the back of the shop and chase Clint to the front of the shop. “Boss, tell this little shit that he’s not allowed to tattoo me!” Darcy says in a firm voice, hands on her hips.

Rolling his eyes, Tony turns to look at Clint and says in a firm voice, “Clint, do not tattoo Darcy, or try and convince Darcy to let you tattoo her. She has some of my finest work on her skin and I don’t need her saying you ruined all my hard work if you don’t make it look exactly like she wants it to look.”

Darcy smirks at Clint before swaying over to Tony, wrapping her arms around him and saying, “You were always my favorite.”

“Uh huh, except for when Clint brings you coffee, chocolate, or any food, really. Or what about all the times you tell Bruce he’s your favorite cause he’ll give you free drinks without making you push your boobs up? I know where I rank in the favorite list,” Tony says with a laugh, but wrapping his arms around Darcy.

Clint just looks at them annoyed and Tony tries to work up the energy to feel bad for upsetting the other artist of Iron Ink. Darcy is like a little sister to him though, one he took under his wing when she was barely sixteen and scared to go home. He’s allowed to hug her and spoil her rotten; she’s had enough bad happen in her life that if he can provide any good he’s going to provide as much as he possibly can.

“So any appointments for today?” asks Clint.

Darcy pulls away from Tony smiling brightly at him, before pushing him to the side so that she can pull the book closer. Tony decides to ignore the way Clint was staring at Darcy and instead turns back to what he was doing before the two of them interrupted him. He goes back to sketching a tattoo that he’ll try and persuade Bruce to get the next time he's at the bar. “That’s a big ol’ nope!” Darcy declares popping the ‘p’ extra loudly.

“Shit seriously?” Clint asks looking worried.

Tony doesn't say anything, but knows that if they don't get more appointments or clients in that Clint is going to have to ask for an advance so that he can pay rent and alimony. Clint’s ex-wife is not one to mess with when it comes to her alimony payments. One night after a lot of drinking Clint had confessed to Tony that he was pretty sure the only reason his ex-wife hasn't married her boyfriend yet was because she wanted Clint to suffer for a little longer for the supposed slights he’d committed during their marriage.

Before Darcy and Clint can start their weird mix of bickering and flirting, the bell above the door starts screaming ‘Highway to Hell’. Tony sits up straighter and gives his professional smile as the two people walk into the shop, a man and a woman. The guy has long hair and the edge of a tattoo visible above the collar of his shirt while the woman has short red hair and it looks like a sleeve on one arm from what Tony can see. “Hi. Welcome to Iron Ink, what can we-” the sales pitch dies in Tony’s throat as a third person comes into the shop.

The man is so clean cut it almost hurts Tony to look at him, hair in a dramatic part, tucked in button shirt and khakis don't really fit with the environment of Iron Ink. Without question this guy doesn't have any tattoos, there's no way, unless it was after a night of drinking and he regrets it completely. God, Tony hopes he doesn't have a tattoo he regrets because while the clothes were ridiculous they were tight enough for Tony to know that all of his wet dreams have been personified and built into this man. It would be such a shame for a beautiful form to have been marred by someone else's sloppy work, or a kanji that's supposed to mean 'strength' but actually stands for 'Sesame Chicken'.

This man is a blank canvas that Tony can go crazy with if only allowed permission. Tony’s mind races away with all the possibilities while the guy looks at him confused and slightly wary looking. Sure that he's looking like a stalker, Tony tries to rein in his thoughts. Darcy thankfully has picked up the sales pitch and is running with it, inquiring what they're looking for and when the first two say they’d like to get a tattoo and the man wants another piercing, Darcy’s smile widens and she asks them if there was anything in particular they want for their tattoos.

Tony coughs, feels a blush creeping up his face, and curses that this is his life before smiling at the man and woman. They both look at him for a long awkward moment; the woman has a slight smirk on her face while arching an eyebrow at Tony letting him know he's clearly failed to impress her. The man on the other looks like he's trying to kill Tony with his eyes, apparently he doesn't like Tony eyeing up his friend like a dying man in the desert finding water.

Clint looks at both of the clients and pulls out his book to show some of his best work. The woman looks suitably impressed and asks if they can go somewhere to talk about what she wants. This leaves the man with Tony, who still looks like he wants to kill him rather than let Tony leave any kind of permanent mark on his skin. “Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking of for the tattoo and I can get started on drawing it while Darcy gets you pierced?”

“That works for me,” the man says slowly, Brooklyn accent sliding through, and for a brief moment Tony gets the strongest feeling of homesickness that it’s ridiculous.

Clapping her hands in the giddy pleasure of putting a hole into someone new, Darcy turns to the man and says, “Tell Tony what you want and then go down to the end of the hall, my door will be open. I just want to go set up for you first.”

“How good are your skills?” the man asks shortlyeyes never leaving Tony's face.

Blinking in surprise, and trying to ignore the personification of perfect staring at all the tattoo drawings on the wall, Tony pulls out his book and lets the guy flip through it. The man stops when he gets to a photo of one of Tony’s favorite tattoos he’d ever done. A guy, John something, had wanted to have a 3D tattoo of his grandfather’s pocket watch over his heart. It had taken several sessions, but the watch stood out proud with the dates of the man’s life on the face of the watch. It was in the portion of the book Tony calls the Hall of Fame, his best works on display together.

“So if I want a 3D tattoo you’d do it?” the man asks.

“It could take several sessions, but yeah it’d be no trouble at all. It might also take me longer to draw, but if you want we can try and get it started today,” Tony explains.

The man turns to Tony’s fantasy and says, “Hey, Steve, you got your sketch book with you? Do you remember what I asked you to draw a few days ago?”

Steve turns to look at them and frowns in confusion for a brief moment, before digging into the bag pack Tony hadn't even noticed he was carrying. He walks over, glancing at Tony several times but not really meeting his gaze. Setting the sketch book on the counter, Steve starts to blush lightly before pushing the sketchbook towards Tony. Tony feels his breath leave him as he looks at the drawing; if Steve really has drawn this he's amazingly talented. It's a man’s arm; with the skin around the shoulder looking like a tear has appeared in the skin and is exposing the outer skin of a mechanical arm with a red star on it.

“Do you have any more sketches? I’m just trying to get a feel for the proportion you’re thinking about.” Tony asks, pulling the book closer, mind already racing with ideal size for detail and where they should start before getting into the detail of the tattoo.

“Oh, um, no that’s the only one. Stop glaring, Bucky, I didn’t realize you actually wanted this to be a tattoo.”

Tony stays focused on the drawing and tries to ignore his body’s response to hearing Steve’s earnest voice. He is so screwed if Steve comes to any of the sessions with Bucky, Tony's already wanting to get down on one knee and propose marriage with the stipulation he's allowed to take his tattoo gun to all that perfect, blank, skin. “Well how about you two work together to get it drawn up while I go get pierced. If we can’t get started today that’s fine, we can work on coming up with a schedule for it, right?" asks Bucky, looking slightly worried.

“Absolutely, go join Darcy in the back room, we keep her waiting much longer and either she or Clint are going to have received at least one new piercing,” Tony says with a smile. Steve looks curious, but Bucky just chuckles and nods his head like he's understanding what Tony means, maybe he does since he's getting pierced _again_ and Tony can't see any visible piercings on his ears and face.  Darcy's either going to be beyond excited or possibly beyond horrified depending on what Bucky looks like undressed.  There's a part of Tony that's hoping he just wants his ears pierced but knowing Tony's luck Darcy's going to get an eyeful of Bucky's junk.  Shaking his head to get rid of that image and waiting to hear the click of the door to the back room where Darcy's piercing supplies are stored, Tony turns, smiles and says, "I'm excited to be able to work with you, Steve."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony keeps getting distracted by Steve and gives Clint an ultimatum. Darcy threatens Tony with an up close and personal experience with her Taser. Oh and there's drinking.

Tony Stark had fallen in love with tattoos when he watched an acquaintance get one after a bet.  The guy had winced and whimpered the whole time, ignoring the looks the tattoo artist gave him every time he decided to move instead of holding still.  Tony hadn’t gotten one then, not liking the lifetime commitment that came with one especially if it had turned out bad, but he'd stayed on talked with Jeff, the tattoo artist, for several hours.  Tony watched as Jeff tattooed more people, all of whom were told that Tony was an apprentice just starting out asking questions and feeling a spark of curiosity about the whole thing.  Everyday Jeff changed people, they left his shop different than when they had walked into it.

Now so many years later, sitting in his own shop, Tony is sitting across the counter from a man that Tony's fingers are itching to change, to get his gun and tattoo art onto a masterpiece.  He just wants to beg Steve to let him tattoo him, even if it’s one tiny one, Tony would be able to relax knowing that he'd permanently marked the man.  Clearing his throat and looking down at the counter Tony says, "Sorry what?"

Steve frowns slightly and Tony knows he's in trouble because he just wants to reach over the counter and pinch Steve's cheek.  There's an impish side of Tony that he usually lets run free, but he doubts that Steve will appreciate his sense of humor then.  Tony would probably end up getting hit if he did half of what he wanted to do to the gentleman across the counter from him.  Clearing his throat Tony tapped the counter and said slowly, “Soooo….”  

"Do you want to draw the tattoo it should I?" Steve asks

Looking back down at the drawing of the arm, Tony hesitates tilting his head to the side.  “Well did Bucky tell you he wants it the size you drew it?  Is his arm as muscular as this one or did you take a little artistic liberty?” asks Tony, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Blushing, Steve looks away from Tony with a frown back down to his paper.  “I don’t think Bucky is as muscular as that.  All he said was that he wanted me to draw an arm with the skin looking like it was torn like fabric and a metal arm with a red star on it underneath.  I mean I was picturing him when I drew it, but I can’t be completely positive that’s what he’d look like.”

Tony nods his head and says, “Okay, well then let me draw the important lines out and then when your friend or boyfriend or whatever he is gets out from under Darcy’s tender hands I can put it against his arm and see if we’re on the right track or if I need to make some adjustments.  If you want you can draw it from several different angles to give me an idea what you think the end result should look like.”

“Bucky’s just my friend.  He’s dating Natasha, you know the scary woman who can probably kill a man with her pinky finger,” Steve says distractedly and smirking when Tony looks up in shock.

 

When Bucky comes out of the room a little bit later with Darcy leaning against her room’s door and smirking at the man, Tony and Steve haven’t said anything just focused on their drawings.  Tony has started, finished, and scrapped several attempts before finally being satisfied with the drawing.  He looks down the hall and chuckles softly as Darcy looks at Tony makes a face and then goes back into the room to clean up.  Turning back to the counter, Tony sees that Bucky has taken his drawing and is staring at it with an annoyed look.  “I’m just trying to get the important lines, I’ll work on the shading and detailing in another session.”

Bucky nods his head and then looks over at what Steve’s been drawing and Tony realizes that the other man hasn’t been drawing his friend’s tattoo the whole time.  He’s switched to drawing a classic pin-up girl, the girl sitting on a bar stool wearing a corset with garter belt and stockings. Tony’s tilting his head to admire the picture more when he realizes who the girl resembles.  “What the fuck? You draw all the girls you just meet in provocative poses?” Tony shouts glaring at Steve.

The man jerks and looks at him in confusion before glancing down at the drawing and blushing.  “I’m so sorry.  I wasn’t even really thinking, I was just lost in thought and I guess that’s what I ended up drawing.”

“Don’t you fucking yell at my friend,” Bucky growls at Tony.

“He was perving on Darcy! I’m allowed to yell at him,” Tony snaps back, standing chest to chest against Bucky.  He doesn’t care that he’s shorter, he’s taken down bigger men that this brooding pile of hair, and he’ll not let anyone, including the most beautiful man he’s seen make implications about Darcy. 

As Tony and Bucky square off against each other, Darcy walks down the hall curious about all the shouting and Clint peeks his head out of his door calling out, “Is there a fight happening?”

“Shut up, Clint! Get back in there and work on your client’s tattoo,” Darcy orders, pointing back at his door. 

Getting to the main lobby Darcy rolls her eyes at Bucky and Tony posturing and mumbling insults at each other.  Walking over to Steve she grabs the page that he’d been working on and says, “This is amazing!”

Both Tony and Bucky stop and turn to look at her.  “What?” Tony says looking betrayed.

“Oh get off the high horse Tony.  You know this is a talented drawing and he did a very good job making me look beautiful.  Thank you for making me look so lovely, Steve,” Darcy says with an easy smile towards Steve then glaring at Tony.

Steve blushes at Darcy’s praise and tries to shift away from her, but she’s wrapped her arm around his and is smirking at his attempts and just tightening her grip.  Tony and Bucky deflate under Darcy’s stare and both look back down at his drawing.  Tony sighs before saying, “Roll up or take off your shirt so that I can place this and we can see if that works for you before we head back to my room.”

Bucky rolls up his sleeve and Tony places the design against his arm and rubs hard to transfer the design.  Both men take a few moments to look at the drawing, before Tony makes a noise and starts rubbing off the drawing and starting over again.  Bucky chuckles and looks over at Steve and says, “Oh, no it looks like I have another perfectionist to deal with for this tattoo.”

Darcy laughs and says, “Tony’s a perfectionist on all of his tattoos.  He has this thing about if he’s going to be changing how someone looks then it’s going to be the absolute best he can make it.  I’ve talked to the guy that taught Tony and he said that Tony was the toughest apprentice he ever had, but that he also ended up being the best because of demanding perfection from himself.”

Steve looks at Tony with what the other man assumes is admiration and Tony curses loudly in his head when he feels himself starting to blush.  Darcy is never going to let him live this down if she witnesses it and yep there’s her ‘cat that ate the canary’ smile.  Tony decides it’s better to just ignore them and goes back to the drawing, staring intently as he adjusts the lines. 

Unaware of any time passing, Tony jumps, but suppresses the scream that tries to escape his throat, when he sees the redhead is back.  Natasha, Tony remembers Steve saying, is tapping her nails against the counter in an impatient gesture and when Tony looks up she’s arching an eyebrow at him.  “Is there a reason Bucky is still waiting to get his done when I’m finished?” she asks, voice a low husk, threat barely hidden under the inquisitive tone.

Tony stands up and winces when his back pops in several places.  “Sorry, I was trying to adjust the lines and then I decided to adjust the look of the metal slightly,” he explains with a sheepish shrug.

Bucky curious to see what changes Tony’s made pulls away the notebook eyes quickly darting over the updated image.  While Bucky’s assessing the updated design, Tony looks around the room, not to find Steve, that would be weird and creepy so of course that’s not what Tony’s doing at all, but more just out of general curiosity, nothing to do with tall, handsome, and American Made at all.  He finds Steve further down the counter talking with Darcy while she pulls out various sheets of tattoo designs.  Clint’s not too far away from them, but he’s looking intently at something in Steve’s sketch book. 

“This works, but unfortunately I don’t think I have any more time today to be able to get it started.  Can I make an appointment for say Tuesday?” Bucky asks.

Grabbing the book and relieved that he doesn’t have to keep watching Darcy flirt with Steve since she can tell it’s annoying Clint, Tony quickly looks it over and asks, “What time of day?”

“Any time.  I don’t work on Tuesdays.”

“Okay, well I can’t get up before ten, even if there were armed guards threatening to shoot me would you see me up before 10.  So let’s say 11:30 and we can get started right away.  Let’s wait a bit and then we’ll do the shading and get it all finished.  How’s that sound?” Tony asks, professional smile in place.

“That works just fine.  Gimmie your card just in case something comes up and I won’t be able to make it,” Buck agrees, smirk still firmly in place.

If he wasn’t sure that Bucky, Steve, and/or Natasha would kill him, Tony’s tempted to tattoo Cousin It unto Bucky.  Natasha would probably make it so that no one ever thought about Tony being missing.  She’d probably right some emotional letter, leave it for someone to find, and then make Tony disappear so fast people wouldn’t realize right away that he’s missing.  Tony doesn’t want to become a face on a milk carton, especially since Clint will never remember to feed Dummy and Butterfingers and while Darcy loves all God’s creatures she says she’s pretty sure that Tony’s cats are demons in disguise.  Tony’s cats would be back out on the street and Tony would be dead in some abandoned place with only the creatures trying to eat his dead body for company.

Tony stays behind the counter while Natasha pays for her tattoo and Steve gathers his things and tries to avoid Darcy’s wandering hands.  Apparently Tony’s not the only one with an appreciation for Steve’s body, but at least he’s kept his hands to himself the whole time, Tony is giving himself a gold star on the staff behavior chart in the back room.  Glancing over at his other tattoo artist, Tony frowns when he notics that Clint is still staring at something intently. 

Darcy is leaning out the door and telling Bucky that he better bring Steve and his fine ass back for the first session. Tony creeps up behind Clint to see that the other tattoo artist is staring at Steve’s drawing of Darcy.  “Oh hell no!” Tony exclaims as he reaches around Clint and pulls the sheet away.

“What?” asks Clint confused as he turns to look at Tony.

“You don’t get to look at that picture like you were, and that’s final.”

Clint crosses his arms and glares at Tony, “I’m allowed to appreciate art.”

“Not that one!”

“And why not?” Clint asks, throwing his hands up in frustration.  Tony’s told Clint several times to make a move on Darcy since they were both clearly interested in each other.  Clint was pretty sure Tony had a bet going on with Bruce about when he and Darcy were going to finally stop dancing around each other.

“Because you don’t get to look at that picture with the intent of putting it on your body until you’ve put a ring on her finger!” Tony decrees firmly before marching towards the back room while Darcy finally turns to the two of them looking confused.

“What the fuck?” Tony hears Clint exclaim just before he closes the door.

* * *

 

Later that night while weaving through the crowd of Bruce’s bar, Tony lets out a whistle at the trio of girls that are attempting to grind on each other on the dance floor.  None of them are really coordinated enough for it to work, but damn they’re trying hard to be sexy.  One them notices Tony’s gaze and tries to smile at him, but apparently it’s all too much for her and she sways briefly for a moment, before putting her hand over her face and rushing towards the bathroom.  The two friends stumble looking around in confusion over where their friend went before tripping over each other trying to get to the bathroom and see if she’s there. 

Tony walks over to his group’s usual spot and puts the latest round down on the table before pulling out his phone.  He grins when Darcy rolls her eyes at his antics, while Clint continues to glare at him.  Apparently someone is a little sensitive about Tony’s declaration this afternoon.  Tony hums a little jingle to himself before he hears the click on his phone.  “The Smasher!  Bruce speaking!”

“Heya, Bruce,” Tony singsongs.

“Stark? What the fuck are you doing calling me?  I know you’re in my bar you asswipe!” Bruce Banner screams into the phone loud enough that Tony can hear a slight echo of it over the music playing through the bar’s speakers.

Tony chuckles and says, “Careful, big guy, don’t forget your ulcers.  Don’t want those bad boys getting all aggravated.”

“Stark! I will strangle you the next time you come up to the bar for drinks.”

Looking towards the bar, Tony sees that Bruce is staring directly at him, ignoring the people clamoring for his attention to get their drinks.  Giving the man a little finger wave, Tony turns back to the table and takes a sip of his drink.  “Listen, you know I love our chats, but I was calling to tell you that there are a trio of lovely young ladies that should definitely get a taxi ride home instead of being left to their own devices.”

There’s a long silence before Tony hears another growl, this time lower, through the phone.  “Thanks for telling me.  I’ll have _another_ conversation with Will about not serving the clearly inebriated clients.” Bruce hangs up before Tony could even say anything more to the man.

Tony lets out a small laugh as he puts his phone away before taking a sip of his whiskey and grinning at Darcy and Clint.  Darcy smirks and takes another sip of her latest radioactive liquid in a fishbowl, Tony’s lip curls at the drink, glaring at the garnish as if it had personally offended him.  Clint lets out an annoyed sigh before standing up, “Going for a smoke.”

The second Clint is out of ear shot, Darcy turns and stars at Tony intently but didn’t say anything.

“What?” Tony asks slowly.

“Care to explain to me why after nine years you suddenly feel the need to dictate rules for my love life?” steel was softer than Darcy’s voice at that moment.

Swallowing hard, hearing the click in his throat, Tony tries to clear his throat and chokes out, “What?”

“You think I don’t have ears?  You forget Tony that I am well practiced in looking busy while still being able to hear you.  Now, let’s get to the point about you telling Clint that a fucking ring needs to be on my finger before he can do whatever the hell he wants with his own body.”

Realizing that if he waited too much longer his night is going to end with him trembling on the floor with Darcy standing above him, holding her precious Taser, Tony cleared his throat and sits up straighter.  “I know you’re pissed, and that’s fine, and Clint can be pissed at me too but I’m not going to budge on this.  We all know a tattoo is permanent, none of us are that naïve.  Yeah we can go through the process of getting them removed, but you and I both know that’s not going to happen with us because all of us have a strong belief that all of our tattoos are important, even the shitty ones we’re embarrassed about.  But you know what none of us have?  People we’re lusting after tattooed on our bodies.  What’s going to happen if you and Clint don’t ever get together and he’s walking around with you in a sexy position and little clothing on his body.  How do you think your future boyfriends will deal with that knowledge, ‘cause we both know Clint, and if he gets what Steve drew, you’re going to be on display all the time.  Are you ready to deal with that?  Are you ready to deal with constantly seeing your face on his body?”

“Oh, get off the high horse Tony,” Darcy snaps.

“No, answer me honestly.  Are you going to be okay with Clint having you tattooed on him if you two never get together?  Imagine yourself ten years from now and you two didn’t get together.  You’re both with different people, you’ve made lives with them.  Yet, every morning all of you are waking up with the knowledge that you’re pouting sexily on a chair on his arm,” Tony says firmly, leaning closer to Darcy.

Pulling back from him, and crossing her arms over her chest, Darcy doesn’t say anything just glares at the far wall.  “Darc-”

“No, alright!  Are you happy?  No I wouldn’t be happy with him having a tattoo of me if we never got together,” she hisses.

Before Darcy can storm off, Tony reaches out and grabs her arm, bringing her attention back to him.  “And that’s why I said there had to be a ring on your finger.  Clint loves you, but he’s light-years away from being able to say he wants to be permanently committed to you.  Honestly, I just didn’t want him to take the tattoo and get it as a way to have you with him always or as an extremely awkward way to show his interest.”

“But you of course had to do it in the ‘I’m Tony Stark and feelings are stupid so I’ll be a dick’ way.”

“I just talked to you about feelings didn’t I?”

“Oh shut up.  I’m going to go get another Double-Rum Green Dragon.  You’re going to apologize to Clint.  And you’re going to let me crash at your place tonight and not yell if I puke, because I’m going to get so very drunk.  Then tomorrow you’re going to take me out for a greasy breakfast and then you’re going to take me shopping for supplies.” Darcy stops and arches an eyebrow at Tony, who closes his mouth, before continuing, “Or I can Taser you right now. Choose wisely.”

“I’m not sure what it says about me that I’m seriously considering the tasering over the damage you’re going to do to my wallet tomorrow and most likely my carpet tonight,” Tony says thoughtfully.  “Fine, whatever.  Me casa es su casa, or whatever.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently the muse was really excited and decided to let me write 3000 words rapid fire for Chapter 3 of this story.
> 
> I changed the rating to E since it's most likely going to be that in the future.

By the time Tuesday rolled around Tony couldn't decide if he was excited or terrified about working on Bucky's tattoo.  Iron Ink had become a place of torture for him since Clint had taken Darcy coming home with Tony as a personal betrayal to their mutual anger with him.  Darcy had proceeded to treat Clint as if he was a little child and when he'd called her out on it she'd responded that she was treating him the age he was acting.  Tony had ran to his office in the back and had prayed that the crashing sound he heard a few moments later wasn't anyone's expensive equipment, especially not Darcy's new set up she'd forced on Tony during their shopping day.  Thankfully it had only been the shitty coffee pot that Tony had been waiting to break.  Clint had also been lucky that it was turned off and not filled with hot liquid when Darcy had thrown it at him. 

After giving Darcy the rest of the day off Tony had bought lunch for Clint where he reminded the other man that Darcy the day after a hangover was worse than any other version of Darcy mainly because Darcy hated feeling like shit and thus decided that it wasn't her fault for being hungover but rather the world's fault for interfering with her having a good time by causing her to feel like shit and she had to avenge the drinking gods the day after a hangover.  Unfortunately for Tony and Clint this usually meant something getting thrown at them, especially since they both fully admitted they were dicks for two days after getting drunk.

To say that it was a tense working environment was putting it lightly.  Tony had taken to hiding in his office saying he needed to make sure the paperwork was all in order before tax season, nevermind that it was only July.  Tony hated doing paperwork, he usually bribed Darcy with a dinner at the fanciest restaurant of her choosing to keep the books in order.  So for the last three days Tony had stared intently at pages and pages of numbers, just to confirm that Iron Ink was still in the black and that Darcy had gotten them a fantastic deal on their Internet service when she'd switched it a couple months ago. 

Walking into Iron Ink, clutching his coffee as if it will keep death at bay for a little longer, Tony takes in the quiet shop with a happy sigh.  The other two aren't in yet which means he can set up the surprise he bought.  Whistling, Tony turns back towards the back lot and his car and freezes when he sees two black and grey heads staring at him from his back seat. 

Stomping over to the car Tony pulls open the door and glares down at the two innocent faces.  "What have I said about hiding in my things?  Hmmm? You know you're both in big trouble right?"

Dummy let's out a dejected meow while turning to look at Butterfingers.  Looking at the other cat Tony says, "So this was all your idea huh?"

Butterfingers doesn't look chastised at all, he looks rebellious in fact.  Then he proves Tony's suspicions true by jumping from the backseat of the car and casually walking towards the back door of the shop like he's done nothing wrong.  Tony just looks to the sky briefly before gesturing for Dummy to follow and then grabs the large box from the backseat.

When Darcy comes in twenty minutes later, the shiny new espresso maker is set up and there's angry cats’ howls coming from Tony's office.  He's just glad all the paperwork is put away and the laptop closed.  Hearing a loud crash he tries to think of what could be damaged before deciding it’s probably just the dead potted plant that sits in the corner. 

"Why'd you bring the demons to work?"  Darcy asks, dark sunglasses hinting at her activities the night before.

"I didn't.  The little shits hid in the box of the new awesomeness and then tried to act all innocent when I busted them.  Do you know I think Butterfingers has a bad influence in his life?  Completely unapologetic and it was totally his idea!  Dummy said so."

“Oh great, we’re doing that fun thing where you pretend like your demon cats actually speak to you.”

Clapping his hands together excitedly, Tony has a huge smile before dropping it, rolling his eyes and saying, “Oh yay! We’re doing that thing where you’re hungover and mad so you destroy everyone else’s happy.  You’re not even going to appreciate what I got us when you’re like this.”

Darcy sighed and slumped down as if Tony’s words were literally weighing on her.  “I’m sorry, Tony.  I’m not hungover, but my friend, Jane, got into a huge fight with her boyfriend and so I was up until about three this morning trying to calm her down and convince her that she shouldn’t drive over to his place to see for herself if he’s a cheating asshole who’s hooking up with his squad mate.”

“Oh baby doll,” Tony said softly, wrapping Darcy in a hug and leading her back to the break room.

When she saw the new shiny machine, Darcy let out a happy gasp, clutching tight at Tony and saying softly and reverently, “I love you.”

Tony chuckled and pushed her towards the machine and watching her walk slowly towards it before throwing herself on top of it and hugging it tightly.  “You’re so beautiful,” Darcy whispered, before pressing her lips against the shiny silver.

“Okay, okay, let’s have some coffee!” exclaimed Tony, gently pulling Darcy off Muggy and getting to work on making them some excellent coffee.

* * *

 

While Tony’s finishing opening up the store, Darcy’s sitting behind the counter letting out a happy sigh as she has another cup of espresso.  “Tony, why did you have to wait until now to buy that beautiful piece of machinery?”

“You know the rules, Darce, unless I’m paying you off nothing that’s non-essential gets bought for the shop until the old one is broken beyond repair.” Tony finishes unlocking the front door and glances down at his watch.  “Hey, Clint say anything to you about being late today?”

“No.  That’s weird he usually beats both of us here.  Unless he’s hooking up with Mitzy again,” Darcy says, lip curling in disgust.

“Now Darcy, Mitzy is a very nice girl.  Remember, she’s only working at the club until she can finish school,” Tony laughs.

Darcy chuckles and says, “Yeah, too bad it’s taking her seven years and counting to get there.”

There’s another crash from Tony’s office, and he lets out an annoyed sigh, “Those two are going to destroy that place if I leave them in there all day.”

“Can’t have them out here.  Not sanitary, plus people could be allergic,” Darcy says with a shrug.

Glaring at her, Tony says in a mocking tone, “No, really?”

“Today’s going to be one of those kinda days isn’t it? Where you’re a sarcastic little shit and I end up getting something shiny from you out of guilt of whatever you’re going to say that upsets me.” Darcy sounds way too pleased for Tony’s comfort.

Ignoring her and walking back towards the back office and to call Clint and make sure everything’s okay with him, Tony almost misses the noise coming from Clint’s room.  Glancing towards the front and seeing Darcy playing on her phone, Tony sends a quick prayer that he’s not going to see anyone ugly naked and opens the door.  Clint’s stretched out on the small couch shoved into the corner, thankfully his pants are on, unfortunately there’s no naked girl or guy to explain this situation.

Closing the door, Tony hesitates for a moment, before leaning against the wall and pulling out his cellphone.  Selecting Clint, Tony looks towards the opposite wall as he listens to Clint’s phone start playing _You’re So Vain_.  Tony arches an eyebrow at that and then smirks when he hears Clint curse along with a couple bangs behind the door before he hears a breathless, “Hey Tony!”

“Clint, buddy!  I’m at the shop, and you’re not here yet.  Just wanted to check and see if everything was okay.”

“Oh yeah, everything’s all good.  I’ll be there in a minute okay?” Clint says in a rush.

“Sounds good.”

When Clint quietly opens the door and peeks his head out, Tony hesitates before saying loudly, “Hi Clint!”

“Shit.”

“You evicted?”

“No.”

“Late with rent?”

“No.”

“Made a bad hook-up choice that’s refusing to leave?”

“What? No.”

“Then why are you sleeping on a shitty couch in a tattoo parlor and not in the lovely apartment that you have?” Tony asks arching an eyebrow.

Clint makes an aggravated noise before saying, “My neighbor forgot about a candle and it set fire to her bathroom, unfortunately our bathrooms share a wall so there was damage done to my side as well and it’s only for two days, but I can’t pay for a hotel so I figured I could just crash on the couch here for a night.”

Tony nods his head, “And the reason you didn’t say anything before hand?”

“Cause I was pissed at you?” Clint says while scratching the back of his head.

“Here.  Take my keys, go to my place, take a shower, and leave me some unpleasant surprise for when I come home.  Pick up breakfast on the way back.  If I didn’t think they’d kill you, I’d ask you to take Butterfingers and Dummy home while you were at it.”  Tony says easily, glaring at the office door when there’s another crashing sound, he knows he doesn’t have that many items that can be destroyed.

Grabbing the keys, Clint looks towards the office and asks, “Why the hell did you bring them here today?”

“Not my choice, the little bastards hid in Muggy’s box.”

“Muggy?”

“We got an espresso machine!” Tony exclaims throwing his arms wide.

“Whatever.”

Ignoring Clint’s unimpressed reaction to the impressive Muggy, Tony walks back to the office.  Taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the worst he opens the door and glances inside.  “You little motherfuckers! How the hell did you knock over all this shit?  Don’t even, Dummy, you’re standing right where my favorite picture of Jackie, the 1967 Shelby Cobra was sitting in lovely glory!  Butterfingers, don’t you do it!” Tony shouted as another crash sounded from the room.

* * *

 

Darcy, Tony, and Clint are leaning against the counter looking towards the back of the shop when Bucky walks into the shop. Tony had called Clint before the other man got back and had him pick a couple pet gates to be installed so that the office could be saved from any more destruction by the cats.  Currently Butterfingers was hanging from the top gate hissing at them while Dummy sat on the floor looking dejected.

“Why’s there an angry cat hanging out in the doorway?” Bucky asks.

“Butterfingers doesn’t appreciate not having free reign of any area he’s in,” Tony says with a shrug.

“Butterfingers?”

Tony tenses at the sound of Steve’s voice, he hadn’t expected the other man to come.  He realizes he shouldn’t know his voice after only one day, but he’s been replaying their whole time together in his head so often, he’d almost convinced himself that Steve didn’t look that good, didn’t sound that ridiculously wholesome.  There was just no way that everything in Tony’s head had been real. 

Turning around and smiling, Tony says, “He could hardly walk when I first got him, kinda had a habit of falling over when nothing was around.  Butterfingers seemed appropriate.”

Steve blinks and then laughs softly.  “What’s the other one’s name?”

“Dummy.  Only seemed appropriate after he crashed into a wall the fourth day in a row when I was opening their food.  Before that he was called Dip, so depending on your life views, Dummy is an improvement.”

“Alright, enough with the chit chat, let’s get this tattoo going,” Bucky declares clapping his hands. 

Tony just chuckles and says, “Sounds good.  Let’s go back to my room and we can get started.”

“So what’s up with the private rooms?” Bucky asks out of curiosity, “Most of the shops I’ve been to have the chairs out in the open, better light, all that.”

“We leave the doors open if that’s what the customer wants, but some people have low pain tolerance and don’t want to be on display while they start crying like a little baby.  Especially when they’re three hundred pounds of muscles with a ton of tattoos.  The only time the door mandatorily closes is when we do a naughty bits tattoo, and then one of the others is in the room with us to make sure there’s no accusations of untoward touching.” Tony explains while leading Bucky into the room and indicating the other man should take off his shirt before grabbing the last version of the drawing and rubbing it against the skin of Bucky’s arm.

Gesturing towards the mirror on the wall, Tony says, “Check the placement, and make sure it’s exactly where and how you want it.  Also, you adding any color to this?”

“I want the star red,” Bucky answers distracted by turning his arm in the mirror several ways before turning to Tony and nodding that it’s positioned correctly.

Tony sets up the ink and then says, “Alright, let’s begin.”

* * *

 

“So, Steve, how is life treating you these days?” Darcy asks, smiling when Steve looks scared.

“Um, good?” Steve looks around the room, but there’s no one else in the room to save him.

Darcy smiles when Steve jumps at the sound of Tony’s gun starting down the hall.  “It’s so loud,” Steve explains.

“Door’s open.  If you want you could probably go and watch.”

“No, I’m, um, I’m good staying out here.  I’m not all that fond of needles,” replies Steve, looking a little green.

“So that means piercings are out too then, huh?” Clint asks as he comes from the back area holding Dummy.

“Clint! What the fuck?  You know we can’t have them out here, not sanitary.  Plus, Steve or Bucky could have allergies and then what?” yells Darcy, standing up quickly and inching away from the man.

“Oh I’m not allergic to cats.  Though I’m more of a dog person.  Bad experience with a tom cat when I was growing up in Brooklyn,” Steve says, head tilted to the side watching Dummy.

Clint lets out a curse when the cat claws up his arm and then jumps away from him.  Tony’s going to kill him if he lets the guy’s cat get free and outside.  Preparing to chase the little hell spawn, Clint freezes when he sees that Dummy leaped into Steve’s arms.  Steve is looking a little surprised, but just smiles and starts petting Dummy who lets out a loud purr before curling into Steve’s arms.

“What the fuck? Are you the cat whisperer?” Darcy exclaims.

“No?”

“Steve, darling, that cat and his brother are demons, I swear to god.  Demons that only like Tony, and I think that’s mainly because he provides them with food.  I’ve never seen one of them be nice to a human that isn’t holding cat food,” Darcy states, leaning away when Steve, and thus Dummy, get closer to the counter.

“Doesn’t seem that demonic to me,” teases Steve.

Darcy stands up when Steve leans against the counter, setting Dummy down on it.  The cat blinks at her blearily, before turning onto his back so that Steve can scratch his belly.  “Are you a fierce demon kitty?” Steve asks Dummy in a baby voice.

Dummy just meows contentedly before flipping right side up, stretching, and then calmly walking up Steve’s arm and curling on his shoulder.  “Holy shit.  You gotta show Tony this!” Darcy shouts, grabbing onto Steve’s other arm and dragging him down the hallway.

“Tony, Tony, Tony. You gotta see what you’re demon cat is doing!”

Stopping just inside the doorway, Darcy clutches Steve’s arm tight and smiles when Tony glances up annoyed, tattoo gun held away from Bucky’s who’s looking at them confused.  “What do you want Dar-what the hell is Dummy doing?” Tony asks, scooting his seat further away from the chair.

“Your demon cat likes Steve, jumped right out of Clint’s arms and curled up and started purring before Steve had even gotten one scratch in.”  Darcy laughs at the look on Tony’s face.

“So, Steve you finally made friends with a pussy,” Bucky said with a smirk.

Steve blushing mumbles, “Shut up, Bucky.  I’m going to go back to the front room.”

Tony looks at Bucky and says, “You do realize Dummy’s a boy right?  So basically Steve made friends with a boy pussy.”

Bucky starts laughing so hard that Tony turns his gun off and stretches his back a little, grinning when the other man has to wipe away tears.  Darcy just watches both of them before making a noise of disgust and saying, “You’re juvenile.”

* * *

 

An hour later Tony walks out of the room groaning as he stretches, sighing when his back lets out several loud pops.  Bucky follows behind smiling happily and looking at the gauzed covered skin of his upper arm.  Tony smiles, says, “So you’re pleased with it so far?”

Bucky just laughs, claps Tony on the back and says, “Fuck you, man.  You’re kinda a dick, but you do amazing work.  I’m probably going to want more done by you.”

“Oh when you say such compliments as that how can I ever think of resisting?” Tony exclaims.

“Oh great, they’re friends now.  We are fucked,” Darcy says, shaking her head and turning to Steve who nods slowly eyes wide.

Tony just rolls his eyes, collects Bucky’s money for this session.  Before Bucky and Steve can leave though, Darcy rushes, “Hey! We’re going bowling tonight.  Maybe you guys could join us?”

Steve lights up like a fucking Christmas tree and Tony has to keep from cursing because he knew he shouldn’t have left Steve alone with Darcy.  He’s been seduced by her easy, charming smile and voluptuous cleavage completely unaware that Darcy is a succubus bent on destroying his soul.  Tony’s not jealous, or upset, not at all.  He loves Darcy to pieces, but the reason he’s rooting for her and Clint is because Tony’s ninety-five percent sure Clint is the only man Darcy won’t chew up and spit out a hollow shell of a confused man.

Bucky looks to Steve, then to Tony, both of them communicating via the language of eyebrows before shrugging and saying, “Yeah, it could be fun.  We can bring Natasha; she’s always fun to have around when playing competitive sports.”

Darcy claps excitedly.  “Awesome! My friend, Jane, is coming and bringing her boyfriend, Thor.  Please be nice to Thor, he’s an exchange student and a football player.  I’m pretty sure he gets one more hit to the head and he’s going to start thinking he’s actually the Norse God.”

“Okay, be nice to the crazy dude.  Got it.  Send me the information on where we’re going and what time,” Bucky says easily.

Before Tony can ask what the hell he’s talking about, none of them have his number Darcy nods her head and says, “Will do.”

“You have his number?”

“Yep! And Natasha’s.  And Steve’s too.  I’m just that charming,” Darcy says with a smile, patting Tony’s cheek before she goes prancing back towards her work room. 

“What the fuck just happened?” Tony asks out loud.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bowling Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! I'm hoping to get another one done this week to make up for the shortness of this one.

Bowling night had become a weekly tradition when Darcy was sixteen and didn’t want to go home, but couldn’t legally get into the bars Tony frequented.  So Tony had found a compromise: they could go bowling. Most bowling alleys had bars attached to them, and Darcy was able to spend a few more hours away from her overworked mother and asshole stepfather.  When Clint started working with Tony, he'd assumed that Tony and Darcy were in a highly illegal relationship, and Tuesday nights were the nights they could be together.  Eventually, he was brought into the fold, and was heavily lectured by Tony and Darcy about the type of relationship they shared.

Since it's a tradition between the two of them, they don’t normally invite others without knowing them for a while.  Tony thinks that has to be the reason he’s on edge right now, waiting for his turn; so many new people suddenly participating in his and Darcy’s thing.  It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s terrible at bowling, so terrible that Darcy’s joked about using the bumper lanes so Tony could at least score a few points.  And it’s not like Tony’s worried about what Steve will think of his lack of bowling skills. He’s not trying to impress the man.

Surprisingly, though, Steve is worse at bowling than Tony. Everyone had stared in shock when Steve’s ball had hit the gutter and bounced into the next lane, all the way over to the far gutter before continuing down, not hitting a single pin.  Tony had turned to Darcy, wide-eyed and jaw hanging.  Bucky had laughed so hard he’d fallen off the seat, and was still laughing when it was time for his turn.  Natasha had kicked him in the leg, and he'd finally calmed down enough to get up and take his turn, which had turned into a gutter ball when he'd started giggling walking towards the lane.

“So, Thor, how you liking bowling?” Tony asks while Jane is taking her turn.  Tony’s heard Darcy’s stories about her, and is still trying to figure out how last night Jane was positive Thor was cheating, and now they’re sitting here bowling.

“Oh, I enjoy it very much, Iron Tony!” Thor exclaims, a happy smile on his face.

“Yeah, it’s just Tony.  So, Darcy said you were a football player and exchange student?”

Thor claps loudly for Jane’s two pins and says, “Oh yes!  I and my close friends were able to do a program that let us come here.  While we were here, we discovered the fantastic game of football!  It is an unofficial intermediate league. It is I, Sif, and the troublemakers three.”

“The-um, the troublemakers three?” asks Tony, glancing at Darcy, who was staring at him intently.

Tony shrugs and gives her an awkward smile before focusing back on Thor. “Oh, yes, Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg are inseparable, and Darcy gave them the nickname,” Thor says.

“Why?”

“Because the Three thought it would be really funny to take all of our bras, wet them, and then put them out on our roof in January,” Darcy says, traces of residual anger still laced through her voice.

“Dude, how are they still alive?” Tony asks in shock.

Thor lets out another loud laugh, claps Tony hard enough on the back for it to hurt, and then goes to take his turn.  Tony winces when he hears the ball flying through the air before crashing onto the lane. Thor still doesn't quite understand why this is bad form in the bowling world. 

“Darcy got revenge by changing all their underwear to g-strings and thongs…that happened to contain itching powder,” Jane laughs, sitting down next to Tony.

“That’s my Darcy!” Tony says.

* * *

 

Between the second and third games, the group decides to order a pizza and get drinks.  Tony's already gotten a refill on his beer, and Steve's apparently a water man, so they stay behind to watch the others' stuff. “So, this is fun.  Darcy says you guys do it every week?” Steve asks, almost hesitantly.

“Yep!  Been doing this for almost as long as I’ve known her.  And yet, somehow, I’m still completely terrible at it,” Tony says, smiling and shrugging.

“You’ve known Darcy long?”

“Almost ten years.”

“Ten years! Wow, and you're still so terrible at this,” Steve teases, laughing when Tony turns sharply toward him to glare.

“ _Almost_.  Besides, sports were never my strong suit, unlike you, I’m sure, Mr. All-American.”

“Actually, I don’t play sports. Never have.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that. You look like you could bench-press two of me without breaking a sweat.”

Blushing, Steve looks away from Tony and clears his throat.  “Actually, I was skinny and nerdy-looking growing up.”

“No fucking way!” Tony exclaims, jaw falling open.

Steve pulls out his wallet and hands Tony a picture that’s tucked between business cards and bills.  It takes Tony a moment to see big, muscled Steve in the skinny boy staring up at him with intense eyes, young Bucky’s arm thrown across his shoulders, sitting on the stairs of a building.  “How old are you in this?”

“I’d just turned nineteen-”

“No fucking way!”

“-and Bucky and I were heading off to college. He’d spent the previous year discovering himself, and I’d been working like crazy to save up,” Steve finishes, smirking.

“And what? You went to college and some creepy doctor with a hidden lair injected you with muscle growth serum?”

“More like finally getting three meals a day and having access to a gym while I was being sexiled by Bucky and ‘Tasha,” Steve says with a shrug, smiling at Darcy when she comes back over to the lane.

“Tony, can I crash at your place tonight? Thor and Jane are back to being disgustingly sweet.  Apparently, Sif had a bad incident with one of the other players in the intermediate league, so Thor cancelled his plans with Jane to keep Sif from trying to kill the guy.  It involved a lot of drinking, because apparently Sif can outdrink half of Greek Row without blinking.  The woman is kind of a goddess to me, not going to lie,” Darcy rambles excitedly.

“You crashed at my place this week. What about my lady friends? They won’t appreciate you constantly blocking their chances with me,” teases Tony.

“Please. Rosie and her sisters are always available to you, and they don’t care if I crash in your guest bedroom.” Darcy rolls her eyes, gently patting Steve on the back when he starts choking on his water.

“Tony, my friend!  Jane tells me that you are a tattoo artist.  Could my friends and I come to your shop and get tattoos?” Thor asks in his booming voice.

“Yeah, sure, why the hell not,” Tony laughs.

“Excellent!  I feel I must tell you now that Volstagg wants his tattoo on a private area.” Thor tries to whisper, but judging by Darcy’s giggles, he fails.

“Clint can do Volgy!” Tony declares, ignoring Clint's glare and middle finger.

“Hey, Steve, you should totally drop by and draw some new designs for the shop.  Most of the ones we have on display are from Tony’s early years.” Darcy’s tone is so innocent, it couldn’t melt butter. 

“Oh, I’ve never thought about doing something like that,” Steve says hesitantly.

“Tony will pay you per design!”

Steve looks to Tony, blinking when he glares at Darcy and sighs.  “Yeah, it’s true, we need to update some of our designs.  I’ll pay you per design based on how elaborate they are.  However, don’t make them all elaborate.  We need simple ones for the people that want a small tattoo just to say they got one, or to test out how painful getting one is.”

“Okay?” Steve looks like he’s not quite sure what happened in the last five minutes.

“Excellent!” Darcy exclaims, clapping her hands.

Tony’s going to have to talk to the little schemer and make her stop whatever she’s plotting.  Knowing her, it’s not going to end well for Tony, or possibly Steve for that matter.  Tony also knows that it’s going to be next to impossible to stop Darcy now that she’s gotten a plan started.  “Let the games begin,” Tony says to himself, a plot of his own starting to form.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! RL has been insane but I already have about three pages of the next chapter written out. So hopefully the muse will keep giving and let me have another one up before Saturday.

A week after the bowling night, Tony’s sitting in his work room, Clint lying in the chair.  “I can’t believe you already have to get this fixed,” Tony grumbles as he stares at Clint’s first tattoo.  It’s not an intricate tattoo, but the ink has started to fade, and since neither of them had an appointment Tony had agreed to redo it.

“I got it when I was seventeen, fucker.  And it was done by a newbie, still nervous about using the gun.  I’m lucky it even looks semi-decent,” Clint says with a smile.

“Still, you could have let it fade and let me cover it up. And a Celtic knot, really?”

“It’s my first! You don’t get rid of your first just like that.  Besides, I like it, and I was really into archery in high school. Or rather, Nikki Paloma, who was really into archery and ‘bad boys’,” Clint replies.

Tony smiles and goes back to redoing the tattoo, while trying to clean up the lines so that Clint doesn’t have to get it redone any time in the near future.  “So, we all good now?” Tony asks as he starts on the part just over Clint’s hipbone.

“You’re an asshole.  You know that, right?” Clint grits out, hand gripping the chair arm as Tony hits a sensitive spot.

“I’m fully aware of that,” Tony says as he works carefully on the main part of the Celtic knot's arrow.

Clint doesn’t say anything for several moments before replying, “Yeah, we’re good.  Everyone knows Darcy brings out your normally long-dead protective instincts.”

Staring intently as his work, Tony doesn’t say anything right away.  Sighing, he leans back, looks Clint in the eyes and says, “You’re good for her, Clint.  Or, you will be, but you have got to get your shit together.  Step one is actually asking her out.”

“Yeah, cause I’m going to take romantic advice from you,” Clint teases.  “Your solution when you and ‘P’ fought was to buy her something.”

“We don’t say that name.”

“I didn’t say her name.  I just said the first letter. But seriously, you’re going to have to be able to say and/or hear her name if you ever want to get YOUR shit together and ask Steve to do dirty, dirty things to you,” Clint says, then hisses when Tony presses harder into his skin.

Neither man says anything more on the subject after that, both silently worrying that Darcy will walk into the middle of the conversation.  She loves them, but she will destroy them if she realizes that they’re talking about her.  Tony focuses on finishing the product and adding a little Stark flair to it. 

Darcy walks into the room, closes the door, and declares, “I’ve hired Steve to man the desk.”

Letting out a grunt, Clint glares at Darcy and then Tony, who pulls away the needle, apologizing for how hard he’d pressed down.  Clint waves him off, but Tony quickly rubs the blood away to make sure he didn’t do too much damage.  As he’s inspecting the tattoo, Tony says, “Employee say what?”

“What.” Darcy deadpans, glaring at Tony.  “No, but it’s really important we get someone to man the desk.  I have three piercing customers waiting out there.  Plus, there are two wanting to get matching tattoos, a young couple in love, apparently.  So, when Steve walked in I made the executive decision to hire him to man the desk so we can do our jobs.”

“Whatever. Let me finish Clint,” Tony says, glaring at the tattoo.

“That means I’m right,” Darcy singsongs as she walks back out of the room.

* * *

 

The two customers Darcy had mentioned take Tony two hours to finish, but he’s proud of his work once he’s done, even if he has to grit his teeth the whole time he’s tattooing the little blonde one who kept  moving. The dark haired one just closes her eyes while holding the blonde’s hand.  Tony asks them about the musical notes with the words ‘For Good’ on the stems, but they don’t explain it.  They just shrug and smile at each other, but the smiles and the looks tell Tony the story behind these tattoos.  When they’re ready to leave he walks them out to the desk and says, “Good luck.”

Steve stares at Tony after the girls have left the shops with big smiles on their faces and a shimmer of tears in their eyes.  “What was that about?” he asks.

Tony looks over at him, just takes in the aura of ‘good’ that seems to flow off of Steve and purify the air around him, before shrugging and looking away.  “They’re going to have a tough time and they know it.”

“With what?” Steve asks, looking towards the door as if he can bring the girls back into the shop.

Tony turns to go back into his work room to clean up and says, “Life.”

* * *

 

The rest of the day doesn’t give Tony another chance to talk to Steve, and he’s kicking himself for not taking the time right then, but Tony’s meticulous when it comes to keeping his station clean and sanitary.  He’s in his chair completely reclined with his arms over his eyes when he hears a hesitant knock on the door.  “Come in,” he shouts, but doesn’t move.

“Hey Tony,” Steve says softly, and Tony can hear the concern in his voice.

Pulling his arms away, Tony smiles tiredly.  “I love when we’re busy, but seriously, that was crazy.  Oh, also, about the whole _Darcy hiring you_ thing.”

Steve’s face falls, and Tony to stops and blinks at him.  “Wait, you _want_ to work here?” he says, surprised.

Shrugging, Steve says, “It’s fun to be in a creative environment.”

“So what were you doing before?” Tony asks.

“Mainly freelance pieces and then helping Bucky out at the garage.”

“Bucky’s going to kill me for taking you away from his business,” Tony declares with a groan.

Shaking his head, Steve rushes, “No, he really won’t.  Bucky can handle the garage on his own, he was just helping me out.  Besides, he doesn’t appreciate that he can’t complain to me about Nat without me arguing her side.  Doesn’t help that I’m their roommate, so I know about all their fights and why they happened.”

Tony doesn’t say anything, just stares at the ceiling, eyes unfocused, weighing all the pros and cons.  Several minutes later, his attention snaps back to the room and he looks to Steve, only to realize he's now leaning against the counter.  “All right. You can come in Tuesdays and Thursdays for now.  If we keep staying as busy as we have been, we can increase the hours.  We’ll also still do the deal on the tattoos:  if a customer comes in and you can draw up a quick sketch to give us a better idea what they want, that’ll be factored into your pay.  That work for you?” Tony asks.

“Um, yeah.  Wow, I honestly didn’t think you’d agree,” Steve says with a relieved laugh.

“We’ll see if we keep staying busy. If that doesn’t happen then we’ll have to have a conversation,” Tony firmly states.

“That’s fine.”

“All right, let’s get your paperwork filled out,” Tony says, holding a hand out to Steve, who easily pulls him out of the chair.

“That means Steve, Bucky, and Natasha are part of bowling night!” Darcy shouts as she runs past the door.

“Nosy little brat,” Tony grumbles.

Steve laughs and follows Tony to the office. 

* * *

 

Later, at bowling, Bucky lets Tony know his feelings about Steve working at Iron Ink for two days a week by grabbing Tony’s hands and begging, “Take him! Please.  All the little old ladies that have cars older than us combined come to the shop and then get upset when the bill comes.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly give them discounts, but this fucker gets all mushy and tells them it’s free of charge.  Do you know who gossips a lot? Old women! Sixty percent of my business right now is old women who believe everything will be free.  A man’s got to eat and pay his bills.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and swats Bucky.  “Oh, don’t be mean.  The other forty percent of your business is classic car owners who see all the old biddies’ husbands’ cars that come into your shop.  All of us know you make enough off of them to be very comfortable, even if sixty percent of your business is free.  Plus, with my job, you don’t really have to work.”

“What do you do?” Tony asks.

“If I told you that I’d have to kill you,” Natasha replies, eyebrow arched, then stands and saunters towards the lane.

Turning to Bucky, Tony looks at him for a moment. “Out with it, Stark,” Bucky says.

“How the hell do you share a bed with that woman?  I’d constantly worry about her trying to kill me in my sleep.”

Steve chuckles and says, “Natasha wouldn’t do that. She’d want to make sure you were awake if she was going to kill you.”

“Good to know.”

“Don’t worry, Stark, I would only kill you if you hurt one of my boys,” Natasha says when she comes back from another strike.

“I’ll try not to?”

“That’s enough.  For now.” Natasha smiles when Tony inches closer to Steve.

“Hey, does anyone know how Fandral got my number and why he’s telling me that he was so glad to hear I was interested in him?” Darcy exclaims, glaring when Tony starts cackling and leaning against Steve.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Saturday right? *awkward laugh*
> 
> Anyway thanks to my Beta janiejanine for being amazing as always

Tony’s in the office staring at the store’s last order of supplies and trying to compare it with previous orders and the inventory.  He’s running low on supplies and Tony’s positive if he asks Clint and Darcy, they’ll tell him they are too.  Their last order was similar to all the other ones and Tony doesn’t think they’ve been busy enough to warrant an order so soon.  “Darcy!” he shouts, glancing out the open door.

Steve’s head peeks around the corner of the front and he calls out, “She’s with a client.  Did you need her right now?”

“I have a question about our supplies order.”

“Fucking hell, what do you need help with?  I’m trying to do my job and pierce Eliza’s nose and you two are shouting back and forth,” Darcy snaps, head leaning out from her door.

“I think either our inventory is wrong or our last order was wrong.”

“Tony, I don’t have time for this right now.  I’ll look after I’m done with Eliza.” Darcy rolls her eyes and slams the door shut.

Glaring at the computer, Tony mumbles a few choice words about Darcy and how he doesn’t pay her for the sarcasm.  Tony hears a voice that sounds suspiciously like Darcy in his head say _sarcasm is a benefit of my awesome company_.  “Um, I could do a quick check of the inventory,” Steve says.

“You need to watch the front.”

Rubbing at his neck, Steve squints towards the wall behind Tony and says, “Yeah, but if you let me check, I won’t already be frustrated, and I can double check the numbers.  You can sit up front and draw for a while.”

“It’s only because I’m about to chuck this piece of equipment out the window that I’m agreeing to this,” Tony states as he stands up, groaning when his back lets out a series of cracks and pops.

Steve smiles, takes the latest printout of tracked supplies, and wanders into Tony’s workroom.  Tony shakes his head and heads towards the front. He hasn’t been sleeping well, but he’s trying to hide it so he doesn’t worry Clint and Darcy.  The last time he’d had trouble sleeping had been two years ago, right as his relationship with Pepper was falling apart.

Slumping down into the seat, Tony presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to stop the memories that are fast-forwarding through his brain.  He doesn't want to remember the good or bad times; he honestly just wants to forget how bad it was during the first few months after the breakup.  He knows that Darcy still keeps in touch with Pepper, but thankfully Pepper’s understood Tony’s need for space.

Breathing deeply, Tony lets out a shuddery sigh, the echo of a door slamming running through his head.  He hears Iron Ink’s chime play and looks up to see Darcy staring at him, worried.  “Where’s Steve?” she asks. She reaches out and runs a hand though his hair, scratching just behind his ear.

 “He’s doing inventory so I don’t destroy something.”

“You’re not sleeping, either.  You promised Clint and me you’d tell us if you weren’t sleeping,” Darcy accuses softly, eyebrows scrunching together tight.

Tony jerks back and glares at Darcy, yelling, “And you promised to tell me if there was ever anything I’d need to know about what was happening in her life!  Anything that might make it so I don’t sleep at night.  Guess being engaged didn’t rank on that list!”

Darcy’s looks away from Tony, lips pinched.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Tony snarls, staring at her. “Fuck it.”

Ignoring Darcy’s calling to him and Steve’s confused face appearing in the door, Tony walks out of the shop and gets into his car.  He keeps breathing deeply, trying to calm down, but then he sees Darcy coming out of the shop and he pulls sharply out of his spot.  He lets out a pained scream as he pulls out onto the road and speeds towards his home.

* * *

 

Tony’s lying on his couch with Butterfingers trying to eat his hair and Dummy curled up on his chest, purring, when Bruce walks into his house.  “Security Breach,” Tony calls out, giggling.

“Great! You’re drunk.  My second least favorite version of you.” Bruce glares down at Tony, arms crossed.

“This is clear abuse of my spare key usage,” Tony points out.

Bruce ignores him and walks into the kitchen, calling out “This is what happens when you give the bartender of your local your spare key.”

“Let me wallow in peace.”

“I’ve been given strict orders by a redhead that looks like she could kill me with her pinkie to make you apologize to Darcy, who is currently sitting in the losers’ corner of my bar.  Oh, did I mention that my bar is currently open? You should know it is, based on how often you frequent it, but that’s right, I’m here dealing with your drunk ass instead of maintaining my bar.  And since I’m stuck with a bunch of morons for employees, you know I’m going to go back and that idiot, Will, will have given so many free drinks away.  Also, we both know that Darcy should never sit in the losers’ corner.” Bruce calmly pours the large pitcher of ice water onto Tony, ignoring the angry hisses of the cats.

“What the fucking fuck?” Tony exclaims before collapsing back on the couch.

“Hope that sobered you up.”

Wiping his face, Tony asks, “Did she tell you that she failed to tell me about Pepper’s engagement?”

Bruce stops moving towards the end of the couch and turns to look at him.  “What?”

“Pepper’s engaged.  She’s fucking _engaged_ to _him_.  Saw the announcement in the paper,” Tony chokes out, throwing an arm over his head, trying to block out everything.

“Darcy didn’t say anything to you before that?” Bruce asks.

“Nope!” Tony says, letting out a sigh when he hears the door close.  He reaches for the bottle and looks at the two cats staring at him from the coffee table.  “You’re my only loyal friends.  I love you guys.”

Dummy jumps onto the couch and lets out a soft meow before butting his head against Tony’s chin, then curls back onto Tony’s chest and starts purring again.  Tony blinks, because he’s not a sad drunk that cries because his cat likes to lay on him.  Swinging his arm around wildly, Tony finds the bottle of whiskey and takes a heavy pull from it.

* * *

 

Bruce glances at the booth, where Darcy is staring morosely down at her drink while the redhead rubs her shoulders and a big beefy guy that Bruce can only assume is the Steve that Tony wants to tattoo and molest based on Darcy and Clint’s descriptions awkwardly holds a beer glass.  He looks over to the bar and gives Will his best suspicious eyes, causing him to flush, before walking over to the booth.  “Where is Tony?” Steve asks.

“He’s currently at home getting drunk, to the point of blackout, I’m sure.  Darcy, why didn’t you tell him Pepper was engaged?” Bruce asks.

“I don’t know!” Darcy exclaims, throwing her hands into the air.

“Seriously, Darcy, what the hell?”

“He’s been so happy, I didn’t want to ruin it with the ‘Oh hey, you know that ex-girlfriend of yours that you had an ugly break-up with? She’s engaged to the one person you hate most on this planet’ speech.  Plus, I was really hoping he wouldn’t ever read that section of the paper.  I just, I didn’t want him to be hurt!” Darcy cries.

“I told you to bring him to apologize.”

“Hey, short, redheaded, and deadly, you’re not the boss of me.  I honestly don’t care if you can kill me 300 different ways with your little toe, you weren’t here, you don’t know the history, you don’t get a say in the matter,” Bruce states, pointing a finger at the redhead.

“My name is Natasha,” she says with an arched eyebrow.

“Nice to meet you.  Now, Darcy, you’re going to have to apologize to him once he’s done with the bender.  Hopefully it’ll be done by Monday.”

“But Tony has to work, he has four appointments tomorrow.  Plus, Bucky was going to try and come in on Saturday to get his tattoo finished.  No one should be on a bender for four days!” Steve rattles off.

“With Tony it’s easier to let him do the bender than try and get him out of it.  He’s a wallower. You let him wallow and eventually you have to forcefully sober him up or he’ll have smashed his feelings into tiny little boxes that can be tucked away and forgotten about,” Bruce says, before looking back at the bar and growling when he sees Will give a girl that’s clearly too intoxicated a drink.  “Listen, I’d love to stay and discuss all the things wrong with Tony, but I have to save my bar from my idiotic bartender.”

“Give me the keys.  I’ll go talk to Tony,” Steve says, holding out his hand. Bruce doesn’t bother saying anything. He pulls out the spare set of keys and throws them to him.

“Steve, don’t,” Darcy says, gripping his arm.

“It’s not going to be a problem.  I’ll go talk to him.  Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen?” Steve says.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot off the beta presses!  
> I have to thank JanieJanine for being amazing at being my beta and cheerleader.  
> Even if she did send me the draft back with an e-mail that ended with, "I can't even with those two."

Steve’s sitting in his car staring up at the building in front of him.  Darcy had given Steve Tony’s address right after he started working at Iron Ink, something about the possibility of having to pick up drunk Tony and drag him to work, trying to sober him up during the drive.  However, Steve is pretty sure Darcy had been playing a prank on him, because this was a really nice brownstone.  When Steve thought of the kind of place Tony lived in, he had always imagined a dirty loft with a lot of band t-shirts and records lying around.

Steve walks up to the door and winces when he hears Tony’s music blasting from the building.  When he opens it, Steve slides into the foyer and looks around, jaw falling open.  There are the concert and movie posters that Steve was expecting, except they’re framed with lighting, along with several pieces of abstract art.  “What is going on?” Steve asks softly as he looks around the room.

Following the music, Steve finds Tony sprawled on a couch that looks like it's seen better days.  Dummy is batting at Tony's chin and meowing. Steve doesn't see Butterfingers, which, based on stories he's heard, isn't a good thing.  Tony swipes a hand at Dummy, who hisses before batting at him again.  "Are you hungry?" Steve asks, then realizes he's asking a cat a question.

Dummy seems to understand, though, because he jumps off Tony's chest and lets out a pitiful meow before twining himself around Steve's legs.  Reaching down to pick up the cat, Steve notices two empty whiskey bottles and frowns.  He's starting to wonder if he's going to have to call an ambulance. 

Dummy butts his head against Steve's shoulders, and he can feel the slightest prick of claws on his arm. "Right, feed you first, then see if your owner is going to need his stomach pumped," he says.

It takes him a little while to find the kitchen. It's right next to the living room and Steve freezes when he walks into it.  Tony doesn't seem to care what's put in front of him at work, whatever it is, he'll eat it, so Steve had assumed that carried over to Tony's home life.  Instead, Steve's standing in a kitchen with state of the art appliances and what appears to be a little window herb garden.  Scratching Dummy's ear, Steve whispers, "Does your owner secretly sell drugs?"

Dummy hisses and starts squirming, his claws scratching Steve's arms.  Wincing in pain, Steve lets the cat go, glaring when Dummy softly lands on all fours.  "I was joking, Dummy.  Jesus, I'm fighting with a cat," Steve sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

Steve watches Dummy saunter over to two empty bowls, look at him, and look back at the bowls.  Opening several cupboards, Steve finds the cans of cat food and opens one up.  Apparently the crunch of the can opening was enough to alert Butterfingers, wherever he was hiding, that food was being served.

As the cats are eating, Steve looks around the kitchen, admiring the stainless steel appliances against the dark red wood.  The breakfast nook has a table that has a bunch of electronics with their guts spilled across it, and Steve glances over it at the frame on the wall, expecting another movie or concert poster, but freezes when he realizes it’s blueprints.  Stepping closer, head tilted to the side, Steve looks closely at them and sees they’re for a machine with three prongs on the end.  Steve grins, figuring Tony found it somewhere and liked the look of it, but he freezes when he reads the box in the bottom left corner. “Tony Stark – Final Project: Engineering 351”.

“Why are you in my house?” Tony slurs, clutching at the door frame to hold himself upright.

Spinning around, Steve blushes and stammers, “ I-I w-was-I was worried.”

“Oh, goody. It’s one of _those_ dreams,” Tony grins, making a face as he begins pulling at his clothes.

“Tony?” Steve asks, trying to look around the room and not at the man undressing.

“How we doin’ it tonight?  Table? Counter? Floor? Oh! Are we breaking in one of the chairs this time?” Tony asks eagerly, hands tugging at his pants.

Deciding the safest place to look to keep his friendship with Tony intact was the ceiling, Steve focuses on that.  “Tony, I asked Bruce for your keys because I was worried about you.  I didn’t want you to be alone if you were actually doing a bender, because I didn’t want you to choke on your vomit.  Or die from alcohol poisoning, which looks like is a possibility based on the two empty bottl-”

Tony interrupts Steve’s rambling by pressing himself against him and saying, “You’re so beautiful when you’re concerned.  I’m impressed that my drunken brain was able to make you seem so worried about me.  It’s so generously fake.” Grabbing the back of Steve’s neck, Tony pulls him down into a deep kiss, tongue thrusting into his mouth.

Steve holds his arms out wide, eyes open in shock, and makes a confused noise, causing Tony to hum and try and press himself closer.  Pushing gently against Tony’s shoulders, Steve makes another, more desperate noise.  Tony pulls back, looking upset and lost before his face clears and he says “Well fuck me with a flaming baton, this is real.”

Blinking, with his lips still pursed, brain trying to process what happened, Steve isn’t able to catch Tony when he falls to the floor and starts snoring peacefully.  He lets out a relieved sigh when he realizes that Tony still has his boxer briefs on and isn’t completely naked.  Then he processes the tattoos all over Tony’s body and gets distracted.

There’s a circular design on Tony’s chest, right in the center, with a series of what looks like mechanical pieces and wiring coming out of it and mapping across Tony’s chest, down his waist and apparently below the waistband over the briefs.  They go over Tony’s shoulders and arms, stopping just short of the wrists.  Steve brushes a finger around the circle, fingers itching to draw the artwork that Tony has made of his body.  Clearing his throat and blushing, he realizes that he just caressed Tony.  He reads the words in precise writing above the circle: _The future – arc reactor._

Butterfingers and Dummy both let out chirps, breaking Steve out of his reflection.  He debates what to do with the drunken man who's passed out on the floor.  He glances at the cats and asks “Dummy, you can’t tell me where Tony’s bedroom is, can you?”

The cat tilts his head, licking his face, before turning away from Steve and going back to eating his food.  “Didn’t think so,” Steve sighs, before reaching down and grabbing Tony.

Grunting, Steve throws Tony over his shoulder, taking several deep breaths and adjusting for the extra weight.  “Please have your bedroom on this floor,” Steve begs as he walks out of the kitchen and down the hall. 

The first three rooms prove fruitless, with an empty library, bathroom, and laundry room respectively.  Tony’s getting heavier, and Steve’s starting to wonder if he hasn’t woken up a little bit, because Steve’s pretty sure he’s felt several deliberate gropes of his butt.  Finally accepting that Tony’s bedroom is going to be upstairs, Steve sets him down on the bottom of the steps.  He groans as he stretches, back popping and muscles loosening.  “Please let’s not make me carrying you a regular thing,” Steve grumbles as he walks up the stairs, “least of all when it’s for one of the unsexiest reasons I could have thought up.”

Looking through the upstairs rooms quickly, Steve throws his arms up when he finally finds a room with a massive bed against one wall.  He stops to look around at the room, letting out a low whistle.  The room is even more proof that the image of Tony that Steve created in his head doesn’t match the reality.  The room is a blend of modern and old world styles, all of which is clearly at the higher end of the scale in cost and value. 

Heading back downstairs, Steve finds himself wondering about the room he’d come across with a bunch of boxes, tubes, and several large objects covered by drop cloths.  He has to fight the urge to go back in there, the mystery that Tony’s become and the need to know more trying to outweigh Steve’s genuine concern for him.

Thankfully, Tony’s lying where Steve left him when he goes back downstairs, but now he’s mumbling softly.  Leaning close, Steve asks, “Tony? You awake?”

“Who’re you?”

“It’s Steve, Tony.”

“Steve is pretty.  I like to look at him.  He’s always so nice to e’eryone.  Drives me crazy,” Tony says, patting Steve’s cheek before his head falls back against the stair with a soft thud.

Steve ignores him and picks him up, shifting his weight until he's sure that he won’t drop him or kill them both by tripping on the stairs.  Carefully, he makes his way up the stairs and to the bedroom.  He grins when Tony shifts closer into his chest, letting out a soft sigh, fingers tugging at his t-shirt.  Oh, the amount of teasing everyone would give Tony if they ever knew, but Steve’s going to keep this side of Tony all to himself.

When he gets to the bedroom, he puts him down on the bed, rolling him onto his side before looking around for a trash can to leave next to the bed.  He races downstairs again to get a glass of water before heading into the downstairs bathroom to look for painkillers for the morning.  The cats are gone when he glances in the kitchen, and Steve worries for a brief moment about what they’re getting into. Hopefully not throwing up someplace that’ll be difficult for Tony to find. 

Tony’s breathing deep when Steve puts the pills down next to the glass of water.  Smiling, he takes a moment to look at Tony's softened face.  Two green eyes appear just behind Tony’s head and Steve barely suppresses his scream before glaring at the cat curled up next to Tony’s head.  “What’re you looking at, Butterfingers? And I’m talking to his cats, Jesus,” Steve mumbles before turning and walking out of the room.

Looking around the house, Steve decides that he’d feel better spending the night there and regularly checking on Tony.  Looking at the room he found Tony in, Steve’s lip curls in disgust at the mess.  There’s a rushing feeling coursing through him, so Steve decides it’d be better to pick up the mess than try and sit down, especially since he knows if he doesn’t keep busy he’s going to peek in the room, and if he does Tony will never forgive him.

* * *

 

“Oh god, kill me,” Tony groans when his alarm goes off in the morning.  The rolling feeling in his stomach lets him know that last night was a cheap whiskey night, which means he most likely had more than a bottle.  He feels a soft head nudging at his hand and smiles as Dummy sniffs around his ear.

He sighs and contemplates calling in sick. He’ll have to reschedule his appointments, but he’s just not ready to deal with work.  Rolling over, he stares at the ceiling and lets out a groan, thinking about the last few weeks.  At least when he drinks he gets sleep, even if it’s a restless sleep, though most nights he passes out on the couch and not in his bed, and he doesn't usually succeed at getting undressed. 

There’s a noise downstairs, and Tony glares at the two innocent faces staring up at him.  “Guys, what the hell?  Didn’t we have a pact about not letting me bring anyone home for fun times?  And that if I did you were supposed to attack them in a ferocious manner? Or did Bruce take care of me? Cause usually for him that consists of rolling me on my side.”

He decides to take a shower and delay the awkward morning after.

* * *

 

Steve is sitting in the living room drinking coffee when Tony finally makes his way downstairs.  “Hey, Tony,” he calls out, smirking when he hears him trip on the last step.

“Steve?” Tony exclaims, stumbling into the room.

“Coffee?” Steve asks, holding out the second cup he’d had waiting on the coffee table.

“I’m a little confused,” Tony says, looking out towards the hallway, then back at Steve.

Taking a deep drink of coffee, Steve turns to him and says “I’m in love with your coffee machine.  Is it Muggy’s amazing older brother, Mugmillian?”

“What happened to you?” Tony asks, stunned.

“I am running on three hours of sleep and one of your cats, I’m guessing Butterfingers, decided my shoe was the perfect place to puke,” Steve says with a shrug.

“Did you clean?” Tony asks, looking around the room.

“I did.”

“What are you?”

“A man.”

“It’s way too early for this shit,” Tony grumbles.

Steve laughs and walks into the kitchen.  Tony looks around his house and then pinches his forearm to make sure that this is the real world and he’s still not sleeping, or somehow passed out in bizarro world.

 When Steve comes back out, he’s carrying a thermos.  “Here you go. I’ll give you a ride to the office.”

“I can drive myself.”

“I’m sure you can, but you're still hung over, and I’m honestly terrified you’ll need to puke at some point and get into an accident,” Steve says.

“You seem awfully worried about me.”

Steve doesn’t say anything in reply, just hands Tony the thermos and finishes gathering his stuff.  He smiles pleasantly and walks out the door.  Turning to look around at his house one more time, Tony says, “What the fuck is happening?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Janie for proofing this so fast for me. I hope you guys like this chapter!

Tony’s sitting in the office, blinking slowly, still trying to figure out what happened the night before.  Steve hadn’t responded to any of his questions on the ride to the shop. He’d just smiled as Tony grew more and more frustrated.

There's a knock on his door, and Tony flinches when he sees it's Darcy.

Clearing her throat, Darcy looks towards the floor, tugging at the sleeves of her shirt.  “I’m sorry I made you a promise and then didn’t keep it.  I know that’s important to you, I know about your trust issues, and I ignored all of that because I didn’t want to say it out loud.  I think I kept hoping if I didn’t have to say it that it wouldn’t be true,” she said.

Heart speeding up, Tony barely rasps out, “What?”

Darcy runs her fingers through her hair and looks at Tony through her eyelashes, biting her lip.  “When she told me, I--” Darcy lets out a huff before continuing. “I didn’t take it well.  We actually got into a huge fight.  I’m pretty sure we’re both banned from that restaurant for a while, if not for life.  She actually didn’t even tell me, we were just supposed to have lunch and I saw the ring, said something that she felt was unwarranted.”

“What could you have possibly said that would lead to all of that?  You were always her favorite,” Tony asks, incredulous.

“I may have said something about her choosing a career and an idiot over actual happiness.  That she was only marrying him for the status of being his wife, and for the opportunity to take control of the company from him without making it a major issue.” Darcy shrugs, refusing to look at Tony, and sniffles.

“Darcy,” Tony says softly, awed.

“So can I beg for forgiveness? I’ve had a shitty two days and I just really want us to be okay,” Darcy says, tears finally spilling over.

Tony spins his chair to the side and opens his arms wide, nodding when she still hesitates at the door.  She runs across the room and throws herself at him, and he grunts at the sudden impact.  He pulls her close, sucking in a deep breath when she curls into his lap.  “You are way too big for us to be even attempting this in this chair,” Tony hisses.

Darcy laughs, wetly, before pulling back and looking at him closely.  “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.  And even though I’m still hurt you didn’t say anything, I appreciate that you were trying to protect me from something you knew would hurt me.”

“You’ve protected me, figured I could finally do the same,” Darcy shrugs, looking at Tony’s t-shirt.

“So, while I have a massive ego, even I’m willing to admit that I can’t be the only reason you’re this upset.  I’d like to pretend it’s all me, but I know it’s not.  What happened, doll?” he asks, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

She shakes her head.  “It’s nothing important.”

“Darcy.”

“I’m going to make it nothing.”

“Darcy.”

“It’s so stupid, I don’t know why it’s bugging me so much!” Darcy shouts, throwing her arms up.

“So what’s so stupid?” Tony asks, smiling.

“Well, I know Bruce stopped to see you last night, so you know we were at his bar, Natasha and I.  Anyway, he came back, snapped at me and Natasha when she heavily implied some threats, and then Steve left to talk to you.  I’m guessing since he’s still in one piece that he didn’t make it to your place, or if he did, you were already passed out,” Darcy rambles, and then stops, eyes focusing sharply when Tony blushes.

“Did something happen?” she asks.

“We were talking about you,” Tony says, shifting and wincing. “Don’t kill me, but you are destroying my legs right now.”

Darcy giggles and stands up, wiping at her face.  She looks towards the door and a dark shadow crosses over her face.  Turning to look at Tony, she asks, “You want to go to lunch?  I want to get out of here a while, and I know you don’t have any appointments until three.”

“Steve will be highly disappointed if we leave when potential customers could walk in requiring our services,” Tony replies, smirking.

“Meet you in the car in ten minutes. You get to tell Steve, since I’m the one that came up with the idea,” Darcy says.

When Tony makes to walk out of the office she stops him.   “Seriously, thank you, Tony,” she says, kissing his cheek.

“You got my back, I got yours.” Tony grins when Darcy rolls her eyes and walks out of the office.

* * *

 

“Hey, Steve.”

“Tony!” Steve stands up and smiles.

“Yeah, listen.  Darcy and I are going to lunch,” Tony says quickly.

Steve looks surprised, but his smile widens.  “Okay.  I’ll let anyone that comes in know to come back in an hour.  Although Clint could probably do some of the tattoos. Clint’s in today, right?”

“Yeah, he’s in his room. He only had one appointment earlier this morning.” Tony hesitates. “I’m guessing that Darcy saying she’s having a bad time and Clint hiding in his room are related.  Do you think you could try and get something out of him?  Text me if you do?  I need to know what’s going on in my shop.”

“I guess?  I don’t feel completely comfortable with that, but if Clint says it’s okay for me to tell you I will,” Steve says firmly.

Tony glares and grits his teeth and says, “See you after lunch.”

“Bye, Tony!”

* * *

 

Sliding into the booth across from Darcy, Tony runs his fingers through his hair and says, “I know we're going to talk, but can I just take a moment and say that tall, honest, and muscular types are the bane of my existence?”

Darcy grins.  “What did Steve do now?”

Tony waves that off. “We can get into that later.  Right now, I want to know what has you so upset.  And if I’m going to have to kill Clint, because that’s going to take time to plan.  Most of my original plans involved having a crazy smart, talented redhead to cover my actions.”

Darcy looks at Tony for several breaths before saying, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you discuss her since she left.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t help me to hold onto her,” Tony says, voice rough, squinting down at the table.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but did you drink yourself to this realization?” Darcy asks, worried, but fighting back a smile.

Shrugging, Tony says, “I don’t know.  It’s like I woke up this morning positive I’d hooked up with someone and the cats had failed in their duties, but there was Steve calm as could be giving me coffee, having cleaned my house, and all I could think was that I wanted more mornings with him.  I’m still completely terrified of what it means, but hey, I’m not going to question it right now.”

“That is disgustingly sweet,” Darcy says, laughing when Tony throws a sugar packet at her. 

“No more teasing me.  I do want to know what’s going on with you and Clint.”

“Who says anything is going on with me and Clint?” Darcy snaps.

“Because he’s the only one besides me that can upset you this much.  That and he’s been hiding in his work room all day.” Tony pulls an ice cube out of his water and pops it in his mouth, smirking when Darcy glares as he crunches the cube loudly.

“It’s so stupid.  I can’t believe it’s even bugging me this much this time,” Darcy says with an eyeroll.

“So it is about Clint,” Tony grins, grabbing another ice cube, then dropping it when Darcy arches an eyebrow.

“Of course it’s about Clint!” Darcy shouts, throwing her hands in the air and smiling when Tony throws his hands up, too.

 “So what’d the dip do this time?”

Darcy sighs, “He showed up right after Steve left.  We had a couple drinks and were just talking, you know, our typical routine.  Anyway, this guy I’ve seen a few times came up and asked if he could buy me a drink.  Clint got all bent out of shape and told the guy that I was _clearly_ with Clint and that he need to fuck off.”

“Wow,” Tony says slowly, blinking.  “I didn’t know he’d man up finally.”

Darcy holds up a finger, “Oh, just wait.  So I’m sitting there all excited.  We talk for a little bit and I’m getting ready to make my move, when Clint leaves to get another round.  He’s gone for about twenty minutes, and I get a little confused, because Bruce always serves us quickly.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Tony chants, hands pressed against his face, looking at Darcy through his fingers.

“Yep. Bastard was busy making out with some sorority girl in the hallway to the bathrooms.  Looked a little surprised when I called him a small-dicked jackass with herpes.  Though it did seem to make the little bleach-blonde Barbie run for the drunken hills of the biker guy at the next table.” Darcy crosses her arms and leans back against the booth.

Tony looks at her for a long moment before reaching across the table and grabbing her hands.  “I can have him killed.  I can make it last, and be painful, but we both know that it would be a waste of time.  Especially since you’d seek revenge, and would be even crueler than I could ever imagine.”

“Damn right,” Darcy interrupts.

“So let’s do this.  Let’s go out tonight, get completely shitfaced, and wake up with regrets!” Tony rallies, a big grin on his face.

“No.”

“What? Come on!”

“Tony, you just finished a bender.  Why the hell would I agree to get shitfaced with you?” Darcy rolls her eyes as Tony leans back, blinking in confusion.

 “So what are we going to do, then?” he asks.

Darcy plays with the sugar packet and says, “I don’t know. What do we usually do when we have to be responsible, but don’t want to be?” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Darcy seek advice from an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to update. Real life went insane and then writer's block set it, but I have Chapter 10 already written and am working on Chapter 11 so hopefully I can go back to updating regularly. Thank you for sticking around.

“Rhodey!” Darcy and Tony exclaim, grinning at the silence that carries through the car’s speaker. 

“What’s the matter, Rhodey?  It’s like you’re not excited to hear from us!” Tony teases.

“Why are you calling me while I’m working?” Rhodey asks in a tired voice.  “How did you even get this number?”

Darcy scoffs. “Rhodey, it’s like you forget how skilled I am at getting your secretaries to appreciate me.  When Cecilia moved on, she sent me a note and told Miranda if you ever got a call from me to patch it through.”

“I didn’t know that,” Tony grumbles, glaring at Darcy.

She shrugs and grins. “Who did you think was involved in monthly girls’ night?  Just me, myself, and I?”

“There are times I wonder why I’m friends with you two.”

“Rhodey, you wound us!” Tony says, clutching a hand over his heart.

“You know he can’t see that, right?” Darcy asks.

“He doing the heart clutching thing?”

Tony grins.  “See? He knew I was doing it!”

“I’m late for a very important meeting, so can we get to the point, or was it just to bug me?” Rhodey growls.

“We need Rhodism.”

“Why do you two insist on doing that?  Just say ‘Rhodey, we’re incapable of acting like mature adults and we need you to help us’.  I’d be more willing to help with that than you combining my name with wisdom,” Rhodey complains. He continues. “All right, we’ll meet at Warriors Pizza tonight, and you can tell me all about your problems.”

“Okay, but Tony’s not allowed to drink. He just got off a bender,” Darcy says, ignoring Tony’s betrayed look.

“I don’t even want to know right now,” Rhodey says, and hangs up.

Before Tony and Darcy can start picking at each other, Tony’s phone plays the shop's ringtone.  They look at each other with wide eyes before fighting to hit the answer button.  “What’s wrong?” Tony asks when the phone connects.

“Nothing’s wrong,” says Steve, voice rising slightly in pitch. 

“Steve, baby, don’t try and lie.  Now what’s the matter?” Darcy asks, grinning, when Tony makes a face.

“There’s a woman here who's saying she’s Clint’s ex-wife,” Steve whispers.

“Fuck me sideways and call me Rhonda!” Tony shouts, and starts the car.

Darcy braces her hand against the door as Tony speeds out of the parking space. “What does she look like, Steve?” she asks.

Steve breathes so deep that Tony and Darcy hear it through the speaker. “Her name is Calli. She’s very tan and very blonde.  She's wearing a lot of jewelry and really nice clothes.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck,” Tony chants as he makes a sharp turn.

“Shit. That is her.  Why the fuck is she at the shop?” Darcy asks.

“She said something about needing to have a long-awaited talk with Clint.  I tried to stall her, or at least warn him, but he came out from a session.  He was really pale.  I’m sorry, Tony, I never got to talk to him about the one thing,” Steve said in a rush.

“No worries, we’re five minutes out.  Did they go back to his room?”

“I think so?  I was busy trying to take care of the client, but the office door is open.  I’ve got to go. Another client just walked in,” Steve says, and hangs up.

Darcy looks at Tony and bites her lip. “This really isn’t good, Tony.  I’m still pissed at the man, but I would never wish Calli on him.”

“Maybe she’s finally getting married again?” Tony offers, false hope in his voice.

“Do you really believe that to be a possibility?”

Sighing, Tony’s shoulders slump down. “No, but it’d be nice.”

They pull into the shop’s parking lot, Darcy jumping out before the car's completely stopped.  She runs into Iron Ink and down the hall, stopping when she reaches Clint’s closed door.  Pressing her ear against the door, Darcy hears Clint shout “For fuck's sake, Calli!”

Without thinking, she opens the door to see Clint leaning against the counter, with Cali sitting on the couch.  Ignoring Calli, Darcy takes a deep breath and walks over to Clint, resting her hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.  “Hey, baby," she says. " I meant to bring you lunch, but Tony got into a thing with the waitress and I didn’t want you to end up with spit in your food.”

Clint stares at her with wide eyes for a moment before smiling and wrapping his arm around her waist. He pulls her closer and says, “It’s no problem, hon.  Just glad you made it in one piece, if Tony was driving.  Oh, hey, Calli’s here.”

Darcy turns to her, looking innocent, and says “Calli, I didn’t see you over there!  What brings you slumming down here?”

Calli stands, blue eyes flashing, and gives Darcy a tight smile.  “I see Clint was lying when he said he didn’t like jailbait.”

“Oh, Calli, I’m sure you misunderstood.  Clint doesn’t like botoxed women, although he doesn’t like jailbait either.  Something about not wanting to have to be with someone so insecure.” Darcy rests her head against Clint’s shoulder.

Tony walks into the room, arms crossed, and glares. “What’s going on here?  I have clients waiting in my lobby.  Hey, Calli, glad to see Satan gave you a day pass.”

“Fuck you, Tony.”

“Oh, you must have forgotten, I told you ‘no’ the last time you offered,” Tony says with a shark grin.

Calli lets out a huff and grabs her purse.  “I meant what I said, Clint.”

“There’s no fucking way I’m paying you more alimony!” Clint yells, clutching at Darcy.

“You can have your lawyer talk to mine,” Calli hisses, and storms out of the room.

Darcy pulls away from Clint and crosses to the opposite side of the room. “What the fuck was she talking about?”

“I don’t have a clue!” Clint shouts.  “You came in here right after she announced she was going to request a higher payment.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault!”

“I didn’t say that!”

“But you were definitely implying it! You know what? I should have just let you flounder with her.  You’re a juvenile asshole, Clint Barton!” Darcy screams before stomping out of the room and down to hers, slamming the door.

“Well, okay then.  I’m going to see if we have any clients left in the lobby,” Tony says, pointing towards the door.

* * *

 

“Is everything okay?” Steve asks quietly, glancing down the hallway.

“Darcy’s even madder at Clint now, I think.   She tried to help him, pretended to be his girlfriend, which she knows is a sore spot for Calli.  Claws were extended, swipes were made.  Then Clint, in all his idiotic glory, shoved his foot in his mouth,” Tony explains, smiling at the two frat guys sitting in the lobby.

“Hey, man, can that angry hot chick give me my tattoo?  I’m sure I can find a way to help her release her anger,” one of them says, laughing loudly.

“Sure, but I don’t make any promises she won’t try and pierce your penis instead of whatever you’re picturing,” Tony says with forced politeness.

“Get out.”

“Um, what?” the frat guy laughs again, staring at Steve in confusion.

“I said ‘get out’.” Steve glares at him, arms crossed.

“Whatever, dude.  And she can pierce whatever she wants as long as she puts her hand on my dick.”

Steve moves around the counter, hands fisted, and the boy looks scared.  His friend starts to creep towards the door, leaving behind his idiot frat brother.  Tony puts a hand on Steve’s chest to stop him and says “We respect women in this shop.  We also expect all customers, including potential customers, to respect our employees.  I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Whatever, asshole,” the guy mumbles, and whimpers when Steve seems to puff up and try to get past Tony’s hand.

“Okay, seriously, what is in the water today?” Tony asks, looking towards the door.

“You should have let me hit him,” Steve says.

Tony shakes his head. “He’s the type who’d call Daddy to sue you for embarrassing him.”

Both men stand there in silence for a moment before Tony rubs a hand over his forehead.  “I’m going to go into the office and stare at my computer. Maybe it’ll have answers for ‘So your employee has upset your other employee and one of them is too fond of their Taser, what do you do?’  God, I could use a drink.”

“Tony,” Steve starts.

“Just an expression right now.  I know I can’t drink,” Tony growls. He walks away and slams his office door shut.

* * *

 

When Rhodey enters Warriors Pizza, Tony and Darcy are glaring at the table and squishing their straw wrappers into little lumps.  “What did the table ever do to you two?” Rhodey asks.

“Hey, Rhodey,” Tony and Darcy mumble, still staring at the table.

“Okay, what happened between this afternoon and now?” Rhodey asks, sliding into the booth.

“Calli.”

“Shit, what did she do?  Like, did she actually show up someplace, or did she send her lawyer to deliver bad news again?”

“Showed up at the shop.  Wants more alimony,” Tony says.

“I acted like Clint and I were dating.  Then he blamed me when she didn’t say why she was asking for more alimony, though the asswipe had no problem going along with the whole charade in the first place,” Darcy says, and slams her fist on her crumpled wrapper.

“Before we go any further, am I going to be asked at some point tonight to help hide a body?”

“Fucker’s still alive.  Though after today, on top of last night, I feel like I would be justified in introducing his insides to his outsides!”

Rhodey holds up his hands and Darcy deflates.  “Sorry, Rhodey.”

“What the fuck have the two of you been up to since we last talked?  Did you guys just decide to fall into a soap opera or something?  A month ago, the most exciting news was that Darcy had found some new equipment she wanted.  Now Tony’s been on a bender and you want to kill Clint.”

“Steve happened.”

Darcy hits Tony in the arm. “You can’t blame Steve for our problems.”

“And is Steve the guy you mentioned last time, Darce? The one Tony went googly eyes over?” Rhodey asks, ignoring Tony’s pout.

“Yes.  He’s amazing.  Like, seriously, all around good guy.  If I wasn't worried about Tony trying to kill me, I would have totally gone for him and forgotten all about Clint, who’s a fucking asshole.”

Rhodey didn’t comment, just arched an eyebrow and gave her a look that clearly said they’d be talking later.  Looking at Tony, who sat pouting with his arms crossed, he sighs heavily and asks “So is your thing with Steve the reason you went on a bender?”

Darcy chokes on her drink. Tony frowns. Reaching over Rhodey, he whacks Darcy hard on the back until she gasps “Not helping! Stop.”

“No, it wasn’t because of Steve, although he was there for part of the spectacle that is a bender of mine.  I found out some news Darcy failed to mention to me.  Wasn’t really her fault. She was trying to protect me, but no such luck.”

“So you found out about the engagement.”

“You knew about it?!” Tony hisses.

“Pepper called me as a precaution in case it went bad.  For some reason, she thought if you went on a bender I’d be notified,” Rhodey says dryly.  He waves off their apologies before asking “So, did Steve have front row seats for the show, or did he just get the gossip column version?”

“He was there for the full Technicolor surround sound show,” Tony states, biting his lip and shrugging uncomfortably.

“And he didn’t kill you?”

“No, he put me to bed, cleaned the house, pretty sure he fed the cats.  I’m hoping I dreamt of making out with him in my kitchen, oh, for fuck's sake!”

Rhodey grins. “Yeah. Hate to say this, but knowing what you’re like?  Steve knows how you taste soaked in alcohol.”

Tony bangs his head on the table. Darcy reaches across it and says “No more brain damage than what you’ve already got.”

“Steve sounds like a nice guy.  And maybe interested in you.  But be nice, Tony, I know you and your amazing self-destructive skills,” Rhodey says. He turns to Darcy. “Now, why did you pretend to be Clint’s girlfriend?”

Darcy shrugs and refuses to look at either of them.  When Rhodey continues to stare at her and Tony begins to build a teepee with the toothpicks, she groans and throws herself against the back of the booth.  “I did it because I hate Calli and I know it bothers her to think Clint and I are together.  Plus, I want to be his girlfriend, but he just keeps being a fucking asshole.  I’m not someone you can flirt with and get pissed about other guys showing attention to and then go and make out with Sorority Barbie!  I’m a goddamn prize!”

“Okay,” Rhodey says calmly, grinning when Darcy interrupts him to continue her rant.

“Besides, getting jealous of Tony is absolutely ridiculous. Like, the thought of sleeping with him is more disgusting to me than the thought of sleeping with a ninety-year old man.  Tony’s been there for me so much and Clint always says stupid shit like I bring out Tony’s dormant protective vibes or what the fuck ever and that’s just not true.  Tony cares about people a lot, but they both like to pretend that Tony’s this big ol’ drunken asshole.  I’m tired of them selling themselves short and treating me like I’m some glass figurine that’ll break if someone touches me!”

“I’m sitting right here, remember?” Tony says.

“Plus, Steve is this amazing guy, but Tony keeps trying to find out what’s wrong with him, because he thinks he's not worthy of him as he is now, and there’s no possible way for Steve to be that nice, so there MUST be something wrong. I don’t want to see Steve go through what I’ve gone through with Clint. Like, I’ve spent the last few years trying to get Clint to get his head out of his ass and realize that him and I together?  We’d be amazing!  He’d put up with just the right amount of my bullshit while calling me out on it at the same time.  I wouldn’t let him go all self-destructive, I have enough fucking practice with Tony.  So fuck Clint.  I’m going to find someone who deserves me!” Darcy finishes, slamming her hand down on the table.

“Now that we’ve worked through the issues, can we get some pizza and try and kill each other with laser tag?” Rhodey asks.

Darcy breathes hard and looks confused for a second before rolling her eyes.  “I really hate how you can get me to do that.”

Rhodey laughs, points to Tony, and says “Hey, Emotionally Stunted over here helps, because he never wants to fill in the silence with his problems, and if I just keep staring, you’ll eventually work out what’s bothering you.  Also, I’ll be paying a visit to Clint.  He apparently no longer needs his balls.”

“I had first dibs on them.”

“Yet you work with him and they're still attached.”

“I didn’t want to do something irreversible.”

“And why not?”

“Cause she has a Taser and would use it on me repeatedly if Clint ever did get his head out of his ass and he was lacking balls?” Tony replies.

“Meh, give them to me and I can make them into a display to show every asshole who thinks it’s funny to ask to have his dick pierced so I’ll touch his penis.”

“You do realize I’m going to destroy you two at laser tag right?  I’m a finely tuned soldier, and you guys are going to have no hope.”

“EX-soldier!” Tony and Darcy shout at the same time.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not still finely tuned.”

“I’m going to destroy you!”

“Loser buys dinner!” Tony declares as he pushes Rhodey out of the booth, laughing when he falls on the floor.

“You are children, both of you.”

“Whatever you say, Rhodey!” Darcy calls out as she hurries to the laser tag area, crowing happily when she sees a group of pre-teen boys.  “Who wants to be on my team?”

Somehow, Tony and Rhodey find themselves a team of two against a team of eight.  In the end, Darcy’s the one that finishes both of them off.  Standing over their ‘corpses’, her army behind her, guns at the ready, Darcy smiles and singsongs “Suck it, bitches!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations in Iron Ink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! The next one is longer and going to involve a lot of Darcy and Steve interaction.

When Tony walks into Iron Ink the next morning, he’s not expecting to see Darcy already there leaning against the counter next to Muggy and smiling.  “Hey, beautiful,” he says, pulling her into a hug.

“I believe after last night, my proper title is Queen of the Red Skulls of Willsbourgh Middle School.”

Tony laughs, feeling happier than he has in weeks, and says “My apologies, Your Majesty.”

“You are forgiven, lowly peasant.”

“What's gotten into you two?” Clint asks as he walks into the room and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.

“I kicked his and Rhodey’s asses at laser tag last night.”

“Yeah the seven middle school boys running around screaming ‘WE MUST KILL THEM FOR THE QUEEN!’ didn’t help at all.”

Darcy arches her eyebrow at Tony and says “I do believe I was the one that got the kill shot on both of you.  I also lost many a warrior to you before we cornered you.”

“Whatever. I have to go check the books. I think I have an appointment with Sif this morning.”

Clint and Darcy stand in awkward silence for a few moments before Darcy smiles and walks towards the door. “Darcy--” Clint starts, but stops when she raises a hand.

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say right now.  I’m still very mad at you, but more than anything, Clint?  I’m tired of the whole thing.  So I’m going to go in my room and get set up and then I’m going to go man the front desk.  You have a client in half an hour, so you might want to make sure your room is ready.” Darcy walks out of the room, ignoring Clint's quiet curse. 

* * *

 

“I’m going to The Smasher and no one can stop me!” Tony declares at the end of the day, slapping his hand against the counter.

Darcy grins. “Tony, are you trying to forget sweet Dale?”

“Dale, the man that wanted ‘Must be at least 8 inches to enter’ in stamp form on his ass, that Dale?  The Dale that hadn’t ever had a tattoo before and thought _that_ was a good choice for a first one?  The man named Dale who got _excited_ during the tattoo process and propositioned me while I was still tattooing him?  The one that said even if I didn’t fit the requirement, he’d still let me enter?  Yeah, you know, he wasn’t all that memorable,” Tony states dryly.

Clint laughs and asks “Hey, is it okay if I come along?”

“Only if you promise to not be a tool,” Darcy says, pointing at Clint and squinting.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nobody’s allowed to cockblock anyone else tonight,” interrupts Tony.

“Excellent,” Darcy cheers, clapping.

Tony pats Clint on the shoulder, shaking his head when Clint turns to him, clearly looking for some kind of support.  Tony is staying on the sidelines for this. He has a feeling it’s going to blow up epically, and he really doesn’t want to be in the middle of it when it happens.

“Did I do something wrong?” Clint asks.

“I’m not the one to answer that.”

“Well, she refuses to talk to me!”

“Clint, man, I’m not taking sides on this one.  You have to work it out with each other, and let me know if it’s going to affect your working relationship. Preferably before there’s a blow-up in the shop.”

* * *

 

Steve arches an eyebrow as Darcy walks by, smiling and completely ignoring Clint.  “How much longer do you think this is going to go on?” Steve asks quietly.

“LESS THAN TWO WEEKS OR SOMEONE’S GETTING FIRED!” Tony shouts down the hall, laughing when he hears two loud bangs.

“Tony,” Steve admonishes him.

Tony turns back to Steve and shrugs. “I’m sick of it.  I told them both I was going to stay on the sidelines, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be an annoying, heckling spectator.”

Steve grins and goes back to drawing a geisha woman that a customer had requested.  Tony looks over at the design and lets out a whistle.  “I’m going to have to start charging people more if you keep giving me that much detail.”

“Well, since I know you can actually handle this amount of detail, I like to see you rise to the challenge.”

“Hey,” Tony says, trying for casual and failing, judging by the way Steve tenses next to him, “have you ever thought of getting a tattoo or a piercing?”

Steve focuses intently on the drawing and doesn’t say anything.  

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfor-“Tony begins.

“No, it’s not that," Steve interrupts. "Yeah, I did think of getting a tattoo once.  It was right before my mom passed away.  Bucky and I had been drifting apart, he’d started to hang out with a different crowd, the kind where all the parents whisper when they see them.  I wanted him to still think I was cool and to hang out with me, so I said I was going to get a tattoo. I wanted to impress him.”

“You were going to get a tattoo to impress Bucky.”

“I went home and told my mom what I was going to do.  She smacked me upside the head so hard I thought I heard church bells.  She told me that was the stupidest reason she'd ever heard for wanting to get a tattoo. Then, she proceeded to scar me for life by showing me the tattoo she had on her back.  It was two bluebirds, one on a branch, the other on the ground, looking at each other.  She told me she got it two days after finding out my dad was killed by a drunk driver.”

Tony winces and starts to stop Steve, feeling he’s pried too much.  Steve shakes his head slightly before continuing. “She looked at me over that shoulder and said ‘This is a reason to get a tattoo.  I have your father looking over me, and every morning when I get up, I see it in the mirror as a reminder.  Don’t get something permanent just because Bucky’s being a little shit.’”

“Your mom sounds like a badass.”

Steve grins, nodding. “Yeah, she was.  She didn’t take any shit from anybody.”

“Don’t take this wrong, but how did you end up looking like you're stuck in the forties if your mom was so cool?”

Steve bursts out laughing and turned to Tony, who makes a wheezing noise, before clapping him on his shoulder.  “My mom passed away about three months after that.  She was a nurse and was on her break, and she went to the diner across the street from the hospital when a kid decided to rob it.  Some guy tried to interfere, the kid got spooked, and Mom was killed.  I moved in with my grandparents. Both of them hated Bucky, which meant I clung to him even more, and they weren’t going to let their grandson be a ‘punk’ so they made me dress like my grandpa.  Still haven’t gotten out of the habit.”

“Yeah, I think you freak the potentials out when they come in. Like they’ve walked in to see their disapproving father staring at them,” Tony replied.

“I’ve never been good at shopping,” Steve says hesitantly.

“Just a pair of jeans at least,” Tony begs.  “I mean, you had to know how to dress like a normal kid before that, right?”

“I was eleven when my mom passed away.   I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about my grandparents.  They were good people, they were just really set in their ways.  Plus, they had my mom later in life, and gave her a lot of free rein, and I think they worried some of mom’s wildness came from that, so they were stricter with me.”

“Yeah, if they didn’t like Bucky – wait, you said you were getting a tattoo at eleven?!” Tony asks with a laugh.

Steve grins, nodding.  “Yeah.”

“How the hell is there a crowd parents whisper about when you’re eleven?!” Tony exclaims.

“Oh, those are the kids that sit around empty parks and the parents think they’re drinking and smoking because they wear band t-shirts, jean jackets, and have lots of piercings,” Darcy answers as she walks up to the counter.

Both men move down the counter to let Darcy finish up with her client. Tony jabs Steve with his elbow, grinning when he squeaks and tries to move further away.  Steve rolls his eyes when Tony tries to jab him with his finger. He grabs it and presses it to the counter, ignoring Tony’s attempts to free himself.  “Sooooo,” Darcy singsongs, eyes twinkling, “What were you talking about earlier?”

“About how Steve needs to stop dressing like a nerd trapped in the forties,” Tony grunts as he finally pulls his hand free from Steve’s grip.

Darcy freezes, and Tony realizes his mistake “Dar--”

“Please say I can give you a makeover!”

“Um,” Steve says, looking between the two.

“Oh, Steve, it’ll be so much fun! I promise to go easy on you the first few times. You know you want to let me give you a makeover.”

“Uh, no, I don't.”

“You let me give you a makeover, and I’ll stop bugging you about letting me pierce something for a month,” Darcy wheedles.

Steve crosses his arms, face going blank, and Tony realizes Steve’s just put on his ‘business’ face.  “Six months.”

“Two weeks.”

“Seven months.”

“Month and a half.”

“Four months.”

Darcy glares at Steve, countering, “Three months, final offer.”

“Done.”

“And witnessed!” Tony declares, banging the pen cup down on the counter.

“I’m going to regret this.”

“Oh yes, you are!”

“Shut up, it’s going to be amazing!” Darcy says, grabbing Steve’s arm and dragging him towards the door.

“Oh, hey, it’s no problem, I don’t need a piercing person this afternoon.  Just go ahead and leave now.  No biggie.” Tony says. He smirks as Darcy stops, drops Steve’s arm, and walks towards the back of the shop.

“Thank you,” Steve says reverently.

“I just delayed her. This isn’t going to stop her in any way, shape, or form.”

“Fuck me,” Steve groans. Tony whimpers, then walks partially into the wall, before heading to the office and slamming the door shut.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Steve go shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to thank Janie for her speed at proofing this so that it could be posted today.

“Thank you for the cookies, Mrs. Lee. Now promise me you won't let your grandson borrow the car again.” Bucky's pleading voice carried into the office.

Steve grins as he enters the invoices into the books. It's Bucky’s least favorite job, and he saves it specifically for Steve to do when he’s at the garage.  When he finishes the stack, Steve looks over the entries and frowns. The number he has for the stack isn’t matching the numbers in the system.  Cursing softly, Steve checks the invoices against the numbers he entered, continuing through the stack until he finds his error.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Bucky says from the doorway, grinning as Steve jumps, sending the invoices fluttering off the desk.

“How is it you’re so ungraceful here, but at Iron Ink you’re all grace?” Darcy questions as she peers around Bucky.

Steve stops gathering the papers and sits up, glaring. “I’m not ungraceful!”

“It’s like watching a baby bull actually try not to destroy the china shop.”

“Ha ha,” Steve drawls, gathering the rest of the papers.  “Why are you here?”

“I was promised a makeover.”

Bucky looks at Darcy, surprised. “You’re letting  _Steve_  give  _you_  a makeover?”

Darcy laughs, gripping Bucky’s arm. “Oh, hell no! I’m giving him a makeover. Tony’s worried his grandpa fashion is causing some customers to feel guilty for using our services.”

“I will pay you for pictures.”

“Shut up, Bucky,” Steve says without heat.  “I’m in the middle of something, Darcy. Does it have to be now?”

“Well, it’s either you come with me now and we buy clothes together, or I guess your sizes, which will all be very small, and have Natasha hide your clothes from you, leaving you with a leather fetish outfit as your only option that fits,” Darcy replies with a shrug.

“Why did I ever think it would be a good idea for Tasha to be friends with you?” Bucky asks, fear in his eyes.

“Too late! Unholy union has already occurred!”

Steve stands up, grabbing his messenger bag, and walks towards the door.  “Let’s get this over with.”

“Oh, stop being a sour face, you know you’re going to have fun,” Darcy declares, looping her arm through Steve’s.

“You do realize even with the extra pay from Tony, I’m going to be very limited in the amount of money that I can spend today, right?” Steve asks, worried.

Darcy pats his arm, shaking her head. “Don’t you worry about that.”

“I’m not taking your money, Darcy.”

“It’s not that.”

“I’m not taking Tony’s money, either.”

“If you'd shut up for a second, I would finish my previous statement and say, ‘Don’t you worry about that.  I can’t bring myself to spend a lot of money on anything, unless its lingerie, so I know plenty of thrift stores and off-the-path shops that have amazing deals.'”

“Oh.”

“Don’t you feel stupid now?”

Steve smirks. “I’m starting to see why Tony always looks at you with suspicion."

“Not my fault you assumed.”

* * *

 

Steve stares in the mirror, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt.  He can heard Darcy talking to someone on the other side of the curtain. Running his hand over the shirt, Steve grins as he remembers his grandma saying she’s not raising any punk kid.  

“Steve?  Everything okay in there?” Darcy asks.

“I think so?” Steve replies. He peeks through the slit in the curtain and sees a petite woman with a deep tan and curly bleached-blonde hair held messily on the top of her head with two hair sticks.  She’s wearing patch-covered jeans and a loose t-shirt that says _Pleasure Seeker_.  Taking a deep breath, Steve pulls the curtain back so the two women can see his outfit.

“Damn, honey,” the older woman gasps.

Darcy grins. “Down, Marie.”

“So it’s good?” Steve asks, looking down at the shirt again.

“Oh, definitely,” Marie says.

Steve looks up, startled, then stumbles back when he’s blinded by a flash of light. “Wha-“

“And that’s going on Facebook!”

“Darcy!” Steve growls, glaring as she ignores him to do something on her phone.

“Whatever, it’s an okay shirt, go try another one.  And you better have jeans on when you come out again!” Darcy orders.

Rolling his eyes, Steve walks towards the dressing room and says “For every picture you take, I’m not going to buy you two drinks tonight.”

“WHAT? Not fair!”

The next hour is spent with Darcy and Marie commenting on the various shirts and pants that Steve puts on, both getting more frustrated as he rejects most of the band t-shirts and argues over the fit of the pants. Marie sighs when Steve comes out shaking his head at another Black Sabbath t-shirt. “Honey doll, your boy is cute, but I’m gonna have to pop him one.”

“I’m sorry, Marie, I honestly didn’t think it would be this hard to get a couple t-shirts and jeans.”

“I like this one,” Steve says, walking out with arms wide.

“No.”

“Darcy, honey doll, if he likes the shirt, let him get the shirt.”

“I can’t, Marie. Tony hates Rush.  Like, I’ve heard him go on extended rants against them.  I’m trying to make Steve fit in a little better with the shop, not have to deal with Tony’s ideas about good music,” Darcy says.

“Tony hates this band?” Steve asks, looking down at the shirt.

“Yes.”

Grinning, Steve says “Then I’m definitely getting it.”

Marie laughs. “Oh, sugar, you are feisty!”

“Steve, no.”

“Yes, Darcy.”

“No.”

“Marie, I’ll take it.”

“STEVE!”

“I’ll deal with the ranting, Darcy, don’t worry about it.  Are there any other bands he feels this way about?”

“Um, let’s see, the only one I can remember vividly wanting to stab myself in the eye about was Yes.”

“Perfect.  Marie, do you have any of their shirts?”

“I think I got a couple. I’ll be right back.”

Darcy rubs her head and glares at Steve. “Seriously, why are you doing this?”

Steve shrugs and walks over to the mirror on the wall, turning to look at the whole outfit.  Darcy squints at him for a long moment before exclaiming “Oh my god! You’re trying to get Tony to give you a lecture! You WANT him to be mad about the shirts, because if he’s mad, then he’s going to have to educate you about your bad decisions.  You’re manipulating him!”

“I’m not manipulating him!” Steve declares, glaring, “I do actually like this t-shirt.  The fact that it’s going to irritate Tony is just a side benefit.”

“I thought you liked Tony.”

“I do, but I also enjoy knocking his ego down a few pegs.  It doesn’t hurt to remind him that not everyone has his taste in music.”

“I’m still sticking with you trying to spend time with Tony.”

“I am.”

“Wait, what?” Darcy stops, blinking.  “Are you saying you like Tony?”

“I already told you I did.”

“You know what I mean!  Are you saying you are romantically interested in our boss?”

Instead of replying, Steve walks back into the dressing room and closes the curtain. 

“You can’t avoid me, Steve!  I’m your ride. And I’ll just sit out here waiting for you to come out!” Darcy grins.

Marie comes back over and hands Steve some things through the curtain.  Darcy smiles and says “I hope I’m like you when I grow up.”

“Well, to do that, you'll need to spend the next ten years driving around in a bus following the Stones, the Dead, and whoever else has a tour going on.  Don’t forget to appreciate the amazing amount of weed and cigarettes that are around.  Oh, and sugar, sleep with as many men as you can,” Marie says with a grin.

Darcy laughs and says “Please, you are a classy lady and I’ll never believe differently.”

“Um, Marie?  I’m not sure why you gave me these?” Steve’s wavering voice calls out from the dressing room.

“Trust me, sugar.  Just try them on.”

Darcy arches an eyebrow and Marie grins, waggling her eyebrows.  When Steve doesn’t come out after a few minutes, Marie walks over to the curtain.  “Sugar, are they too tight?”

“Um, yes.”

Marie rolls her eyes and peeks around the curtain. “Oh, damn, baby, those are perfect!”

“I want to see!” Darcy exclaims.

Steve, blushing, reluctantly comes out from behind the curtain, arms wrapped around his stomach.  

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”

“Darcy!” Steve admonishes.

Marie waves her hand at him, saying “No, honey, that is an appropriate response.”

Steve tries to ignore the intense stares from the women as he walks over to the mirror. His jaw drops when he finally sees himself. He’d deliberately avoided the mirror in the dressing room, not wanting to be any more embarrassed.  The leather pants Marie picked are tight through the thighs and down to the knees before widening into a boot cut.  The leather is beat-up and soft, showing signs of its age.  

“Just as I thought, a work of art,” Marie sighs.

Steve turns to see what the pants look like from the back, stopping when he sees Darcy has her phone out.  Crossing his arms and arching and eyebrow, he stares at her.  

Marie walks around Steve and says “Oh, honey doll, we’ve been approaching this all wrong.  We need to get him greaser clothes, not band t-shirts.”

“Oh, Marie, you’re a genius!”

* * *

 

Two hours later, Steve stumbles out of Marie’s Kickstand carrying several bags.  Darcy walks along beside him, carrying her own small bag of clothes that Marie had picked out for her.  She grins when he looks dazed, and she asks “Everything okay over there?”

“What just happened?”

“You are now stylish and will blow people away, but I’m hungry, so let’s get some food.”

* * *

 

Darcy grins at Steve as he rolls his neck and lets out a sigh. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“I’ve never spent over three hours trying on clothes. It’s exhausting. Plus, my butt hurts from all the times Marie pinched it,” Steve whines.

“Oh, it’s not that bad. Besides, you’ll look amazing when you come into work on Monday.  I bet you twenty bucks Tony is going to run into a wall when he sees you in your fine ass jeans.”

“I’m too tired to argue with you about that.”

“Perfect, then you're exactly how I want you. So, are you attracted to Tony? And I do mean as in you want that man to do nasty things to your body, and not in the ‘you’re a really talented artist and I love your work’ way.”

“Darcy, come on,” groans Steve, resting his head against his chair back.

“I told you that we were going to talk about this. You keep fighting me and it’s going to get worse.”

Before Steve can reply, the waiter comes over, smiling at Darcy, eyes raking over her body.  

“Hey, buddy, I’d like a glass of water and for you to stop ogling my girl.”

Turning wide eyes at Steve, Darcy’s jaw drops when she sees that he's flexing and cracking his knuckles.  The waiter swallows nervously and squeaks out an apology before quickly taking down their drink orders. “What the hell was that?” Darcy hisses.

“I don’t care who you want to sleep with, but they better not be looking at you like a cheap piece of meat before they’ve said one word to you,” Steve grumbles.

“You wouldn’t seriously have done anything to him, right?”

Steve grins and looks down at the menu.  Darcy sighs, mumbling “I’m not going to forget what we were talking about, but I’m hungry, so let’s figure that out first.”

“If we’re talking about me and Tony, then we’re also going to talk about you and Clint.”

“Low blow, Steve.”

“I consider it only fair.”

The waiter comes back over, dropping off their drinks and getting their orders, looking at Steve the whole time.  The two start laughing when he walks away, both trying to stop by taking a drink, but starting up again when their eyes meet.  

Leaning back, Steve stares at Darcy for a moment before saying “Yes, I’m attracted to Tony. I find him very attractive.  He has the personality of a four-year-old sometimes, but he’s a good guy that cares for his friends.”

“So you only like his personality.”

“You are not going to get me to say anything more than that.  Now, why are you giving Clint the silent treatment?”

Running her fingers through her hair, Darcy lets out an annoyed sigh and says “Because any time I get mad at him, we talk and he says something really sweet, and I forget why I’m mad at him.”

“And you’re mad at him now because of the incident with his ex-wife?”

“I’m mad at him because he keeps screwing up and hurting my feelings and then acting surprised when I get mad.  He knows I have feelings for him, for fucks sake. I know he has feelings for me! And I kept waiting for him to make the first move because he and Tony both said they love to be the ones to make the first move, but he never did.  So we just end up in this spiral pattern of friendly, flirty, upset, and finally angry,” Darcy finishes, shrugging.

Steve doesn’t say anything as the waiter comes over with the food. He waits to see if Darcy is going to continue before clearing his throat. “Please don’t kill me for saying this, but maybe you should just tell Clint you’re done with the spiral?  Or maybe explain that you just need some space?”

“I probably should, but Clint’s just going to do his wounded face.”

“So do it at The Smasher, especially if you come up on him flirting with some girl.  And if he gives you any crap, I’ll beat him up.” Steve smiles as Darcy starts laughing.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says.

“Stop comparing every guy to Clint and just open yourself up. Something amazing might happen.”

“Is that what you’re doing with Tony?” Darcy asks, grinning as Steve weakly glares at her.

“Honestly?  I’m not expecting anything beyond friendship to happen with Tony. That man has so many barriers he uses to try to protect himself, and I don’t want to do more damage by trying to force my way beyond them,” Steve replies, refusing to meet Darcy’s gaze while dragging a couple of fries through his ketchup.

“Good.”

Looking up in surprise, Steve chokes on his fries. Darcy waits until he takes a drink before she clears her throat and continues. “It doesn’t matter how much I like you, Steve, I can’t have you hurting Tony.  He’s been in a horrible mindset the last few years, refusing to let himself be happy.  We’ve all been worried about him, and while I would love for something to happen with you two because I think you’d actually be great for him, I’m not going to let you just force your way into being with him.”

“Okay.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Um, if I ever do something that hurts Tony, you’re allowed to Taser me?”

“Oh, don’t offer me something like that, because on a bad day I’ll decide you did something so I can do it,” Darcy chuckles.

“So how about we have each other’s backs?  Any time Clint does something to piss you off, come talk to me, or let me buy you a drink, or we can play Bucky’s favorite game, ‘which attractive person can I push you into?’.  How’s that sound?” Steve asks.

Darcy blinks back wetness and clears her throat a couple of times before saying “That sounds wonderful.  And any time I think you’re pushing Tony too hard, or I see Tony about to self-destruct, I’ll have some crisis so he focuses on me and not whatever that far-too-talented brain of his comes up with. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“You know, Steve, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“Really? _Casablanca_? We’re already friends, Darcy.”

“Don’t make me call Natasha.”

“I seriously regret you two ever meeting.”

“So are we going to The Smasher after this?”

“We can.”

“Okay, but I want you to wear the leather pants.”

“You know what, I’m suddenly exhausted,” Steve says, faking a huge yawn.

“You do realize Tony’s going to shit kittens if he ever sees you wear your Rush or Yes t-shirts.”

“I know.”

“You’re going to wear one on Monday, aren’t you?”

“Yep!”

“I’m so recording that.”

“I’ll buy you four drinks that night if you do that and let me see it.”

Darcy laughs. “Beautiful friendship, I’m telling you.” She pauses for a moment before saying “Steve? Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For letting me drag you to Marie’s and make you try on a metric ton of clothes, and you barely complained.  But really, thank you for not judging me about Clint, and for trying to help.”

“It was my pleasure, Darcy.”

“Marie asked me for your number.”

“You gave it to her, didn’t you?”

“She’s like my fairy godmother, of course I did!”

“ _Darcy!_ ”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve shows off his new clothes and Star Lord visits the shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this taking so long! I hope you like it. 
> 
> Also, I blame Chris Pratt and the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer for making me want more Star Lord in my life.

Darcy lounges on the waiting area chairs on Monday morning, ignoring Tony's comments, which were mostly about not paying her to sit around and Clint to pretend to draw while watching her. She sends a text to Natasha about how Tony and Clint are worse than pre-teen girls with their dramatics.

"So, did you scare Steve away on Saturday?  Is that why he's late today?"  Tony asks.

"Well, I did introduce him to Marie.  Plus, I gave her his phone number, so maybe they eloped to Vegas."

Tony rolls his eyes and starts to comment, but he's cut off by the sound of a loud motor outside the shop.  He and Clint stand up straighter, putting on their professional smiles.  Darcy smirks and keeps lounging, pressing 'record'. 

Steve walks in a moment later, smiling, wearing a brown bomber jacket, jeans, and old brown army boots. Tony's and Clint's jaws drop. 

"Sorry I'm late. I got up early to take a ride with the bike and lost track of time," Steve says, voice breathy.

"What?" Tony croaks.

Clint chuckles, walking around the counter to clap Steve on the shoulder before moving towards Darcy.  He doesn't say anything, but smirks when he sees she's recording the scene. 

"I took the motorcycle out this morning," Steve says, shrugging.

"But you brought me to work in a car.  All I've ever seen you with was a car," Tony splutters.

"Yeah, that's one of Bucky's cars.  I was waiting for a piece for the bike and so he had me using it," Steve replies, grinning as Tony keeps staring at him, uncomprehending.

"Helmet?"

"You need a helmet, Tony?" Darcy asks, giggling.

Tony rolls his eyes and clarifies. "Where's your motorcycle helmet, Steve, who is a man and not a smartass employee who I'm currently paying to lounge around?"

"Oh." Steve blushes, rubbing the back of his neck. "I actually don't have one at the moment."

"STEVE!" everyone admonishes at once.

"I know it's not good! I just have to get a new one and I haven't done it yet," Steve says as he walks around the counter.

Glaring, Tony punches Steve on the arm. "You're doing it today, even if I have to force you to get it."

"Okay," Steve says, rolling his eyes a little bit and taking off his jacket.

Tony hisses, arching away from Steve, waving a hand at his t-shirt.

"Well, it's good to see Dummy and Butterfingers taught you a few things about expressing displeasure," Steve comments, grinning and running his hands down over his shirt.

"You are not allowed to wear that!" Tony says.

"But then I'd be shirtless, Tony.  I don't think that's a good idea," Steve says with a grin, which widens when Tony blinks at him and blushes.

Darcy giggles, attracting both men's attention and drawing Tony's to the phone.  "Delete it!" Tony orders as he runs towards her.

Shrieking with laughter, Darcy darts under Tony's arm and runs down the hallway. Tony chases after her, cursing her and demanding that she give him the phone and delete whatever she took.  There's a crashing noise from the kitchen before Darcy comes running back into the lobby, throwing the phone to Steve as she makes for the door.

Clint waits for Tony to exit the lobby in pursuit of Darcy before he walks back over to the counter.  Steve doesn't say anything as he puts the phone into his front pocket. He arches an eyebrow when Clint stares at him, rapping his knuckles against the counter. 

"So, it seems like you and Darcy have gotten close," Clint says airily.

"Steve!  Save me!"

Steve moves to the side as Darcy runs back into the shop, around the counter, and clings to the space behind him.  Tony follows, breathing heavily, and glares at both of them.  "You're helping her?"

"She sought asylum, I couldn't refuse," Steve replies, grimacing as Darcy pinches his back.

"If you're helping her, you're my enemy."

"Well, I don't want that, but I still don't see what the big deal is about the shirt, which is what seemed to start the whole thing in the first place."

"Really? You really don't have a problem with the public knowing you like Rush?"

Steve shrugs and turns slightly when a pinging noise comes from his pocket.  

Everyone freezes before chaos resumes, Tony trying to reach the phone in Steve's pocket.  Darcy slaps Tony's hands away, while Steve fights off Clint's attempts to stop Darcy from reaching for the phone. 

When the door opens, all four of them stop, putting on professional smiles.  Darcy and Tony’s eyes widen when they see it’s Rhodey walking into the shop.  Clint tenses for a moment, remembering all the other times Rhodey coming into the shop resulted in Clint getting a bruise.  Steve begins his standard welcome until Darcy darts out from behind the counter, exclaiming, “Rhodey!”

Tony tries to use the distraction to get the phone, and lets out an angry shout when Steve slaps his hand.  "Boss abuse!"

"You were literally trying to reach into my pants!"

"I want the phone."

"What phone?" Rhodey asks, eyeing Steve critically.

"It has video of Tony acting like a cat," Darcy stage whispers to Rhodey, tucked against his side.

Rhodey guffaws at the affronted look on Tony's face.

"I did not act like a cat!" Tony insists.

"Certainly looks that way to me," comments Clint, holding up the phone and showing the group.

"So, Catman, I was wondering if I could get some new ink," Rhodey says, smile widening when Tony glares at the nickname.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know."

"That makes it harder for me to give you new ink," Tony says.

"Well, what does your new guy have that I may be interested in?" Rhodey asks, ignoring the jab in his side from Darcy’s elbow. She goes back around the counter to stand next to Steve.

Tony reaches under the counter and pulls out the binder filled with Steve's latest designs, dropping it loudly onto the counter.  Ignoring Tony and Darcy's glares, Rhodey flips through the pages, humming at the various designs.  It's on the tenth page that he stops.

"What?" Tony asks.

Debating for only a moment, Rhodey points to a design on the page.  "I want that one."

Tony rolls his eyes before turning the book around and looking down at the design. 

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Tony?"

"Where did you get this design?" Tony asks, voice hard.

"What design?" Steve replies, glancing down at the page. He falls back against the wall, stammering, before finally saying "That's not supposed to be in there."

Clint and Darcy, both curious as to what's causing such a reaction, move closer and try to look at the page in question.  "Oh, that's not supposed to be in there?" asks Clint, wincing when everyone glares at him.

"For Christ's sake, Clint, what do you think?" Darcy scolds, her frustration with him boiling to the surface.

"It was sitting on the counter. I assumed that meant it was part of his designs for Tony!"

"You assumed I drew a design of your boss's tattoo and it was supposed to go in the book?" Steve asks incredulously.

"You're such a little shit," Darcy spits at Clint.

“Darcy,” Steve says, gently grabbing her wrist.

“No, we’ve needed to do this for weeks, might as well get it over with,” Darcy hisses, eyes flashing.

"Whoa, did I interrupt something?" a voice asks.

Steve freezes and Darcy looks at him in confusion.  Tony winces, while Rhodey grins, walking towards the man in the door.  “You always did have amazing timing, Quill,” he says, clapping the other man on the shoulder.

"Holy fuck! Rhodey and Tony?  What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

"Iron Ink's my shop.  Rhodey is just lurking around here," Tony answers, closing the book and tucking it under his arm.

"Peter?" Steve asks.

"Yeah, do I know you?” Peter Quill asks, staring.  “Holy fuck! ROGERS?”

"You know him?" Tony and Steve ask each other simultaneously.

"Yeah, he-"

"We went-"

Peter laughs and answers for both men. "I spent a little time with Bucky and Stevie growing up.  I know Tony and Rhodey from college. What? Why are you making that face?"

Darcy slaps her hands down on the counter. "YOU KNEW COLLEGE TONY?"

"I swear to God, Quill, you tell her anything about those years and I'll end you," Tony threatens.

"Okay," Peter says, distracted. He walks towards Darcy, ignoring the other men’s unfriendly looks.  "Well, hello, beautiful.  And you are?"

Darcy rolls her eyes, calling out as she goes down the hallway, “Not in the mood for more drama in my life.”

Peter clutches at his heart. "You wound me!"

"So, Star Lord, what brought you to the shop today?" Steve asks, eyes glinting.

"STAR LORD?" Tony exclaims.

"Really, Rogers? I thought we were buddies."

"I’m going to go check on Darcy,” Steve says, ignoring Peter.

"Well, I certainly know how to clear a room fast," Peter says.

Clint laughs. "Nah, I got you beat.  Anyway, I'm sure you didn't come into a tattoo shop to have a stroll down memory lane.  Were you looking for something in particular?"

“I was actually thinking about getting a piercing.”

Tony and Clint wince before Tony says, “I wouldn’t recommend that right now. Darcy’s our piercing expert.”

“Oh, shit, really?” Peter says with a laugh, hand covering his mouth.

“So, Quill, how do you know Steve?” Rhodey asks, grinning when he hears Tony’s quiet growl.

Peter shakes his head. “You always were so subtle, Rhodes.”

“Darcy, no!”

Tony freezes, turning to look down the hallway after Steve’s shout.  “She wouldn’t!” he hisses, and runs down the hall. There’s another shout.

“Come on, Steve, please,” Darcy pleads sweetly, ignoring Steve’s grip on her wrists.

“Darcy!” Clint exclaims from the door.

Turning to see the group in her doorway, Darcy slowly eases away from Steve, saying innocently, “Hey, guys.”

When she’s far enough away, Steve gets up from the chair, rubbing his ear.  “Did she pierce you?” Tony asks, walking over and tilting Steve’s head to the side.

“I’m okay.  She didn’t pierce me.”

“I want to be pierced! She can pierce me,” Peter says chipperly.

“Hop on up, buttercup!” Darcy slaps a hand down on the chair.

“On second thought, I think I’ll wait until another day.  You know, when you’re not all,” Peter makes a face, hands out, sucking air through his teeth, before walking away and down the hall. 

Tony runs a hand over his forehead, swearing under his breath. “All right, time for my interference.”

Rhodey starts to say something, but Tony holds up a hand, shaking his head.  “I said I wouldn’t do anything as long as it didn’t interfere with the business.  We’re past that point now.”

“So what are we going to do?  We can’t exactly go drinking like we did the last time,” Clint says.

“You guys could come to my place.  Its neutral ground,” Steve says.

“All right, executive decision.  We’re going to Steve’s place in an hour. I recommend you clear an open space and hide valuables.  We were banned from Bruce’s bar for six months after the last time we did one of these.”

Steve turns to Rhodey with a worried look. “Are they going to destroy the place?  I don’t want Natasha to kill me.”

“I would recommend having a couple of people to help run interference,” Rhodey replies, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

“Natasha’s going to kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the [Rush T-Shirt](http://www.amazon.com/Rockabilia-Rush-Explosion-1974-T-shirt/dp/B008EDDGW4/ref=pd_sim_sbs_a_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1FNFTPCGC77ZFVNARWNH) that Steve wears.
> 
> Again I'm sorry for how long it took to post this chapter. My computer went blue screen on me shortly after I posted the last chapter so it had to be repaired, and I got it back in time for work to once again go insane. I just need to remind myself that writing keeps me sane and I shouldn't let R/L stress me out to the point that I don't write. Sorry if this chapter is a little rough, I started it when the computer was broken, and trying to use office on your phone to type a story is just painful. I'm hoping to have the next chapter, which right now is clocking in at around 3000 words and I'm only half way done, posted next Tuesday.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group meets at Steve, Natasha, and Bucky's apartment.

Steve breathes deeply as he walks down the hallway toward the apartment, rehearsing the speech he’d come up with on the drive over.  He knew Natasha and Bucky liked the Iron Ink group, but he was very aware of how unfriendly they could be to people who unexpectedly entered their territory, and it was worse when they didn’t have plenty of prep time. Pulling out his keys, Steve runs through the speech one last time before reaching for the door.

“Hey, Steve!” Tony calls out, running down the hall.

“Tony!” Steve exclaims, voice high and reedy.  “You’re early!”

“Yeah, sorry. I know you wanted to talk to Natasha and Bucky first, but I wanted to add some lubrication to the negotiations. It's a peace offering,” Tony laughs, holding up a bottle of expensive vodka.

“Oh, that’ll be perfect!  Thank you so much,” Steve says, relieved that Tony thought of bringing something to help with Steve’s roommates.

Smiling at each other, neither man is paying too much attention when Steve opens the door.  The sounds of swearing, hissing, and what’s definitely a body falling hard to the floor cause them to turn and look into the apartment.  “Oh my God!” Steve shouts. His head jerks back while Tony makes a horrified sound.

“What the fuck?” gasps Tony, eyes wide and mouth slack.

Natasha stands slowly, stretching and smiling like the cat that ate the canary. Bucky starts laughing at the look on Tony’s face, causing several bits of himself to move in a manner neither Tony nor Steve want to witness.  Turning to look towards the third naked person in the living room, Bucky smiles wide when he see that Bruce is glaring at Tony and Steve, hands on hips and still hard.

“Bruce!” Tony squeaks, eyes squeezing tight.

Bruce grins and moves next to Natasha. “What? Is there something wrong, Tony?”

“My eyes,” Tony whimpers, pressing them with the heels of his palms. “There’ll never be enough bleach.”

Steve pats him on the shoulder, gently pushing him towards the kitchen, calling out obstacles until Tony puts his hands out to feel for them.  He glares and shakes his head when Bucky starts to head towards them.  Bucky pouts, but stops and walks in the direction of the hallway, on the opposite side of the apartment.

When all four are huddled by the hallway entrance, Bruce raises an eyebrow at Steve and comments “You seem to be pretty okay with all of this.”

Natasha and Bucky laugh softly, shaking their heads.  “Oh, he definitely wants to kill us. Steve’s just used to coming home and seeing us _in flagrante delicto_ ,” Natasha says, voice husky. Steve glares at her.

“You have a bedroom,” Bruce says, sounding almost offended on Steve’s behalf, which Steve finds hilarious, considering the circumstances.

Bucky inches closer to Bruce, running a hand over his chest, and whispers against his ear. “But all of us are well aware that sometimes when _feelings_ rush over you, you have to go with it, never mind propriety, or where you are, or who could see.  Plus, we always figure we’re going to be finished before he gets home.”

Bruce shivers and gives Bucky a lustful look; Steve waves a hand between them, breaking their eye contact.  “Take it into the bedroom.”

Natasha crosses her arms, pushing her breasts up higher, which Steve tries to ignore, and says “You and Tony take it to the bedroom.”

“Tony is not the only one coming over, nor are he and I going to be doing anything like that any time soon.  Besides, Tony brought you and Bucky vodka. You should be nicer to him. So, can you please go to your room while we deal with the group’s…” Steve hesitates, causing Natasha and Bucky to smirk at the silence.  “While we deal with their frustrations.”

“The only way for them to work their “frustrations” out is for Clint and Darcy to fuck, but only after Tony and Clint fight,” Bruce comments dryly.

Smiling, Natasha gives Bruce a slight nod. “Well, boys, let’s go to the bedroom.  I want to finish what Steve so rudely interrupted.”

Steve lets out a soft, relieved sigh as the three naked people walk down the hall, away from him and the living room.  Turning to see if anything’s out of place before the rest of the group comes, he groans at the scattered clothes and rushes to pick them up.  “So, how are you so unfazed by catching your roommates having a threesome in your living room?” Tony asks, peeking through the breakfast bar.

“Not the first time,” Steve replies distractedly.

“So it’s an everyday experience for you to come home to a threesome?”

“No, the threesome is definitely unusual, but I’ve been living with Natasha and Bucky for over ten years.  I haven’t panicked over catching them fucking in years.”

Tony blinks owlishly at Steve. 

“What?” Steve asks.

“You don’t really ever swear. It’s weird.”

Steve glares at Tony.  “I’m not an all-American ‘golly gee whiz ma’am’ guy, Tony.  I swear, I have a temper. Hell, I even get drunk occasionally.”

“I don’t remember the last time you swore around me.  I honestly don’t think you've _ever_ sworn around me.  The only time I’ve seen you angry was when those two douches joked about Darcy, and even then I didn’t think you’d actually do anything to hurt them.  Also, I’ve only ever seen you drink water, juice, coffee or milk.  That, along with how you used to dress, you’re practically a '40s Ken doll.” Tony leaves the kitchen and leans against the wall.  “Fuck, I can’t even picture you jerking off, you’re so apple pie!”

Steve freezes for a moment, and the glint in his eyes tells Tony he’s said something that’s pushed the other man too far. Grabbing Natasha’s bra from the floor, Steve moves towards him. “The reason you can’t picture me jerking off is because you’d rather fantasize about me fucking you.”

Unable to think or say anything, Tony struggles to swallow the air trapped in his throat. Steve ignores him, walking down the hall and opening a door, dropping the clothing in, and closing it before coming back down the hallway.

Steve looks sheepish when he returns to the living room. “I can also be an asshole. Clearly,” he says.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Tony replies, his voice still weak.

Running a hand over the base of his neck, Steve blurts “I don’t know if this’ll help or make it worse, but I do jerk off.  Usually, it’s to thoughts about us enjoying each other’s naked company.”

Tony’s throat clicks when he swallows. “You’ve never pushed for more.”

“You’re not ready for all I want to give you, and I’m too selfish to be able to give you only what you can handle,” Steve says gently.

His breath coming more rapidly, Tony looks around the apartment for an escape route so he can make a break for it.

“I’m not going to pressure you, Tony.”

“I need air.”

Steve leads Tony to the balcony and shows him the chairs before going back inside.  In the kitchen, Steve goes through the fridge, trying to find anything that can be made into an easy snack tray.  He starts cutting up the vegetables, muttering to himself. “Couldn’t leave it alone, could you? Just had to say something. Why the fuck would you tell him that you jerk off thinking about him, you idiot?”

“Where’s Tony?”

“Darcy! Jesus Christ!  Did you just let yourself in?”

Pointing behind her, Darcy replies “Door was open.”

“Shit, seriously?" Steve sighs, peering at the living room door.  “Hopefully, Mrs. Lee was behind schedule and not doing her laundry a few moments ago.”

“Who’s Mrs. Lee and why would that matter? Also, where’s Tony?  I thought I saw his car down there.”

“She’s our elderly next door neighbor who already thinks Natasha, Bucky, and I are sexual deviants and living a brother-husband kind of lifestyle, never mind seeing what probably looked like the start to an orgy.  Tony’s outside. He needed air.” 

Steve jerks back as Darcy is suddenly too close and asking in a sticky-sweet voice “Why would Tony need air?  And what would have looked like the start of an orgy?  Does Tony needing air have anything to do with a possible orgy happening here?”

“No! Well, yes, maybe, kind of?” Steve says. “Buck and Nat were having fun with Bruce when we walked into the apartment. Which I’m apparently ‘too apple pie’ to be calm about. Guess I missed the memo where I’m supposed to clutch my pearls and have the vapors. It has nothing to do with the novelty of seeing my roommates fucking in various places around the apartment and everything to do with my supposedly being a prude.  Also, I apparently never swear, don’t know if you knew that one. And Tony needs air because I told him the reason he can’t picture me jerking off is because he’s too busy imagining me fucking him on every flat surface. Just to clear the air, I do jerk off.  I have a penis and a pulse, so yes, I do jerk off.  I think it was when I said I tend to think of Tony and I together while doing it that finally broke him.  He said he needed air while I tried to reassure him that I wasn’t pressuring him into anything.”

Darcy’s biting her lip when Steve finishes his rant.  She pats him on the chest, smiling, before turning and walking out of the kitchen. “I’m going to check on Tony. You keep doing... whatever you were doing before.”

* * *

“Tony?”

Tensing, Tony refuses to turn around and continues to pick at the tattered material of the chair arm.  He tries silently willing Darcy to decide he's boring and leave him in peace.  Darcy’s too good at getting around his defenses, making him feel too raw to be able to discuss anything further.  Focusing on his breathing techniques, he almost misses Darcy sitting down next to him.

“So Steve wants you,” she states calmly.

“He just needs help with something,” Tony counters, starting to stand and hopefully escape.

Watching Tony out of the corner of her eye, Darcy shakes her head.  “No, he has that under control.  Steve wants to have sex with you maybe even more.”

“We’re not discussing that.”

“Okay, we can shelve it for now –“

 “Ever," Tony interrupts. "We’re not talking about this ever.”

“No, Tony, at some point we’re going to talk about it.  You don’t want you and Steve to become like Clint and me.”

“So are we doing this thing out here?” Rhodey asks, looking around the balcony, smiling as the two jump.  “It’s not very spacious, which could be a good thing.  Or a really bad thing.”

“I think there’s less of a possibility of something happening out here, so it’s less likely that we’ll break anything.  Plus, all of us are aware that Natasha and/or Bucky will kill us if we destroy something of theirs, which no one wants,” Darcy says with a shrug.

“Are they even home?” Rhodey wonders.

Tony laughs, slightly hysterical. “Oh, they’re definitely home. They’re just busy with Bruce right now.”

Rhodey looks back towards the apartment. “The place isn’t that big. Where would they be, unless they’re all in the bed--oh! Okay. Well, good for Bruce.  I’m sure they’re very attractive people."

“That’s right! You haven’t met them yet.” Darcy stands up and gushes “They are seriously amazing. Like, they both have this air of ‘I could kill you with my pinky’, while at the same time they're all down to earth.”

“Hey, guys,” Steve says, leaning out the door. “Clint’s here. How about we do this inside?  We’ve done some pretty awesome soundproofing. Should help if things get…loud.”

* * *

“So, soundproofing?” Rhodey asks with a smirk.

“Natasha and Bucky like to play their music loud.  The downstairs neighbors don’t care, or they’re afraid of Natasha, not really sure, but we got tired of Mrs. Lee calling the cops on us because of it,” Steve replies off-handedly, glancing around the room, making sure everyone’s settled and has drinks.

“Mrs. Lee sounds like a buzzkill,” Darcy comments, curling into the corner of the couch.

“She is, but she loves Steve because he’s always so polite and apologetic about his terrible roommates, who are going to corrupt his sweet self,” Natasha drawls as she, Bucky, and Bruce walk into the living room, clothed this time, thankfully.

“Bruce?” Clint exclaims. “What’re you doing with them?”

“Fucking,” Bruce replies with a shrug.

Natasha, Bucky, Darcy, and Tony laugh, Tony sounding slightly hysterical. Steve rolls his eyes, mumbling under his breath about there being three of them now. Clint, eyes wide, looks around, trying to figure out if it’s a joke or not.  “Seriously?” he asks.

“No, I was back there doing their taxes. Yes, seriously.”

When Clint keeps gaping, Darcy asks, voice razor sharp, “What’s the matter, Clint?  Surprised about a little slap and tickle between three friends?”

“You know what, Darcy? Can you just stop with the attitude you’ve been giving me?  I don’t know what I did to piss you off so much, but I’m tired of you making me feel like shit,” Clint snaps.

“Well, I’m really fucking tired of you being an idiot, so I guess we’re just both going to be unsatisfied.”

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Well you sure as fuck could’ve fooled me!”

“Darcy,” admonishes Steve gently, holding up a hand.

“How the fuck is it my fault things are like this?  I’m not an asshole to you, but god, lately you act like I’m barely better than the drunk assholes at The Smasher!” Clint bursts out.

“Hey don’t bring my bar into this,” Bruce protests at the same time Rhodey and Tony shout, “Clint!”

Tears in her eyes, Darcy stands up, choking out “You’re not an asshole to me?  You’re not an asshole!  Oh my god, Clint!  You’re the most oblivious asshole I’ve ever encountered.  How do you think it makes me feel when you flirt with me, only to turn around and go home with some other girl?  First, though, you’d make sure any guy who was interested in me had been warned away, because you got upset and acted like we were at the bar together.  You don’t want me, but no one else is supposed to want me?  Did you really think I wouldn’t get tired of that?”

The silence is heavy. The group holds its breath, everyone’s eyes on Clint as he gapes at Darcy.  When he doesn’t say anything and continues to stare at her, Darcy starts to cry.  Natasha, giving Clint an unfriendly look, stands up and pulls Darcy tight against her, rubbing Darcy’s arm and whispering comforting words. 

“I never meant to make you feel like that,” Clint chokes out, face pained.

“You fucker!” Tony shouts as he dives out of his chair and across the living room. Steve catches Tony’s wrists and pulls him back until he can get an arm around his waist while Tony shouts “Let me go, Steve!  I’m sick of him making her cry.”

Steve pushes Tony back into his chair and Bucky stands up, ready to stop Clint if he tries to do anything.  Clint swallows audibly, turning to look at Darcy.  “I’ve made you cry before?”

“No, I had allergies,” Darcy says flippantly, then looks contrite when Natasha whispers something to her. “Not often, but it definitely doesn’t make me dance for joy to see you go home with someone else after being with me the whole night.”

“Why didn’t you say something? If everyone knew I was hurting you, why did no one say something to me?  Do you all really think I’m that big of a tool that I’d knowingly hurt her like that?” Clint asks, voice hard.

“Clint, stop being an asshole,” Steve orders.

“I’m not being an asshole.  No one said anything to me.”

“What would you have done if we had?” Rhodey asks.

“I don’t know!”

“Might want to think on that one before you try throwing stones out of that glass house.”

Clint stands up, shouting “I already told you.  I didn’t know!”

“I told you multiple times to stop being a dick when Darcy got upset with you.  I’d tell you that maybe you shouldn’t end your evenings hooking up with a chick after cockblocking Darcy.  I even told you multiple times to stop being a tool and ask her out, but you never did that!  All you did was brush it off and say I was ‘too overprotective’ of her!” Tony roars, face red, hands clenched against the chair arms.

“You never said I was hurting her!”

“I didn’t realize I had to spell it out for you!”

“Stop it!” Natasha scolds, pulling Darcy into the large armchair and cuddling her closer.

“So,” Rhodey draws out, looking around at everyone, “what’s going to happen?”

“What do you mean?” Clint asks.

Darcy looks at him, shocked. “You really don’t think something’s going to have to change?”

“What? No, of course something has to change. I’ll stop telling guys off for hitting on you,” Clint stutters, clearly not liking it.

“That’s it? That’s your solution to this?”

“Well, it’ll help, won’t it?  I mean, things can go back to how they were, and I’ll stop being an asshole like that.” Clint’s voice is soft, hopeful.

Shaking her head, Darcy states “That’s not going to work for me.  There’s going to be this elephant in the room if we try to do that.  Something’s got to change.”

Clint stands up abruptly, beginning to pace the space between the couch and Tony's chair. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“What I want from you, you can’t give me right now.  Or maybe even ever,” Darcy says, clearing her throat before continuing. “All right, so I’m going to take a few days off. I think I’ll go hang out with Jane in the lab, maybe load some new music on my iPod.  Then I’m going to come back, and Tony’s not going to be a dick to Clint, and Clint’s not going to try and repeatedly make it up to me or apologize.  Also, I think we need to not hang out socially for a while.”

“You could always just Taser him,” Tony offers with a smile.

“What about bowling night?” Clint asks.

Sucking in a deep breath, Darcy tilts her head. “I think maybe we should not do bowling night, at least for a little bit.”

“No.”

“Tony--“

“No, we’re doing bowling night.  I know it’s going to be tough for both of you. Hell, it’s going to be tough for all of us, but we’ve done bowling night since you were sixteen, Darcy. Don’t go into hermit mode. It’s really hard to stop once you start.” Tony gives her a small smile, and Darcy feels some tension leave her shoulders.

“So, wait, am I losing my regulars?” Bruce jokes, flinching when Natasha stares at him, arching an eyebrow.

“This is stupid,” gripes Clint.

“Why?” Natasha asks.

“Why can’t things just go back?”

Bucky looks at Natasha and says “Because sometimes trying to go back to the way things were makes it so the person you don’t want to hurt feel even worse.  Darcy needs her space right now, Clint. You’re just going to have to be willing to give her that, even if you don’t understand it.”

Steve clears his throat, looking at the floor. “We still need to talk about Tony.”

“What about me?”

“You need to stop putting yourself in the middle of their business.”

“I don’t do that!”

“Yes, you do,” Clint and Darcy reply.

“Tony, you always treat Clint like shit after I’ve come to talk to you because he’s upset me.  I’ll be honest and admit that while you’re doing it, I enjoy it, but that’s because I’m mad at him.  But Tony, Clint doesn’t deserve that.”

Crossing his arms, pouting, and leaning back into his seat, Tony mutters “He upsets you.”

“And I don’t need you to get revenge for me.  I do plenty fine on my own.  I’m not a little kid anymore, Tony.  You gotta let me start dealing with my problems.”

“I let you deal!”

“Not with Clint.  You have got to promise me that if I get upset with Clint after I come back, you don’t do what you always do, which is be a dick.” Darcy smiles when Tony’s lip twitches.

Natasha looks at Darcy and suggests “What if, instead of going to Tony when Clint upsets you, you come to me or Bucky?  We’re not in the shop, and we won’t give Clint a problem, but you still get to have a sounding board.”

“Nah, I’ll just talk to Thor about it,” Darcy says with a shrug.

“I’ll be dead within a month,” Clint says.

Darcy laughs, shaking her head.  “He’s big and loves to tackle people, but Thor’s really a big puppy. He won’t hurt you.  Especially if Jane tells him to leave you alone.”

“What is so important that you’re texting right now?” Tony asks Rhodey, leaning over to see his phone.

Rhodey puts the phone into his pocket and smiles serenely at the room, not answering Tony’s question.  “So, I feel like we made some good progress here today.  Really broke down to the basic elements the problems you guys are having at the shop.  I think Clint here needs a responsible adult to take him someplace to get shitfaced.  Thank you, Bruce, for volunteering!”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Tony’s going to want to be left alone so he can pout, so we should just let him go home.  Actually, I don’t trust him not to go to a bar and get shitfaced as well, so Steve, can you help me out and take Tony home?”

“I’m not a child.”

“I can do that.”

Chuckling at their glares, Rhodey finishes “Darcy, how about you stay here tonight?  Natasha and Bucky can keep an eye on you, plus I know you want to stalk the hallway until you meet Mrs. Lee.”

“I _really_ do!”

“And what are you doing?” Tony asks, smirking when Rhodey gives him an unfriendly look.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve given everyone but yourself duties for the night.  So what are you going to do to help the three of us out?”

Steve grins at Rhodey. “You can come with us.  Last time I was at Tony’s place I couldn’t find anything, so it’ll be nice to have someone who knows the lay of the land, so to speak.”

“You’re just dropping him off at home.”

“But what if I leave and he goes out to a bar or club once I’m gone?  Oh no, Tony needs a mentor, you know, someone who can guide him, help him think through tough decisions, someone who's known him long enough to know all of his tricks for trying to sneak out.”

“Fine. I’ll be helping Steve deal with Tony.”

“And, break!” Bruce yells, laughing.

As the group starts to stand, grabbing their stuff, Clint says "Okay, but did Bruce really have a threesome with Bucky and Natasha?"

"Yes, we really did.  We almost didn't even get to finish, thanks to Steve and Tony." Natasha glares at the two men.

They freeze as they think about that. They glance at each other and blush when they make eye contact. "Okay, we're stopping at a liquor store," Rhodey declares.

"What? Why?"

"'Cause I'm going to be stuck with you two."

"If we're stopping there, I'm going across the street to get a pizza," Tony says.

"Whatever. Let's get going."

Darcy's phone rings and she answers it, looking confused. "Hello? Sorry, I don't recognize your number."

Rhodey tries to shove the others out of the apartment. Steve doesn't budge, and Tony moves to stand beside him, making it harder for Rhodey to force him out. They watch as Darcy's eyes widen and she glances towards Rhodey while her cheeks turn pink. "Hi, Peter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! I love comments and hearing from you.
> 
> The next chapter won't be posted until two weeks from now. Next week is going to be crazy at work so I already know that I'm not going to get a lot of writing done and will more than likely end up resembling a zombie.


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